I have spoke to others about this, and I get mixed reviews. All in all most say it's my house my rules, and I understand that but at same time, it's still causing such daily crap, Im starting to wonder if worth it. If I put boyfriend out I will have a completely crushed young lady saying the other two are grown and shouldn't even be at home, and that I'm spending too much time helping them and grand babies and putting her last. Then If I try telling grown kids that I can't keep doing all this cause it's wearing me down they take it as I'm choosing the boyfriend over my own children... I feel as if I can't win for losing.
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I will probably receive a lot of negative feedback from this... but am desperately needing advice and support. This is a very difficult time for me and my and I'm trying to make the best out of it for everyone and getting what seems to be crapped and and yelled at by everyone cause I'm doing nothing right. But here goes I am a mother of 3 Two girls and a boy. My oldest is 25 (with 3 kids of his own) My second is 24 Then my baby girl who is 17. I was diagnosed about two years ago with a chronic disease which has put me unable to work for past two years. My oldest daughter kala moved back home during this time to help and my youngest even picked up a job. Then my son and girlfriend had a falling out and he moved back home. Thank ngd were going good not great but good, but then tension started. My grown kids are trying to give me advice in how to run my house, and raise my youngest. I'll m sure in their own way they are trying to help but how they say and do things are unacceptable. Example... My youngest has been dating a guy for two years. She in school gets good grades and works and pays for her own things. She's a very smart girl and has always been mature for her age. But recently he got out of military (he's only 19) he was injured, moved backed home and him and his mom had a falling out. I could not turn him away, so he stays with us as well. To say the least we have a house full. Do I have the room, no not really. But I will not have kids on the street grown or young if I can help at all. I do have rules, they are not left alone, and I know.... It's not ideal... And I didn't allow it when the oldest two were younger, so I hear that from them about how wrong I am for allowing this, that I must be crazy, that she should be in a regular school 8 hours a day instead of finishing up her senior year online like we choose to do for personal reasons, that I shouldn't be having to drive him to work or pick him up cause he has a mom and should be there, oh there's so much more they stay on me about. They seem to forget, that my son and his three kids that stay there, I help take care, feed, and baby sit, do laundry with all of them... My oldest daughter I have to give rides too and from places because she has lost her liscense. I have let both my son and daughter move back home multiple time with their significant others when they have needed some help. We fight and argue over this stuff all the time, shes gonna get pregnant, she should be in a regular school, she deserves better ( I agree on this but sometimes you have to let them learn that for themselves) and it's putting a huge strain on my family. I know what some are thinking they are grown kids put them out... Well a few things on why I don't 1) they are helping keep our household going since I'm unable to work. I'm currently fighting for disability so have very little income and without them I would not have a roof over my head 2) grandbabies... I could never put their dad in a position where he's struggling to find somewhere for them all to be 3) they're my kids even if grown I want to help them too I just can't put them out I could tell her no he can't stay then that will push her away probably more into his s arms at least this way shes home I have an eye on her there, God knows once she leaves the house all I can do is pray she makes the right choices. I just don't know what to do to try and keep peace at our house before it totally ruins our family because it gets really ugly at times. Looking for advice please. Constructive criticism Please don't be harsh
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