Hello, I’m reaching out because in the last year I have noticed some major changes in my daughters behaviour, she’s 9 years old. She began acting out, not wanting to sleep at my house, not wanting to spend time anywhere but at dads house. It has gotten worse over the course of the last year and I have noticed that he has been encouraging her behaviour and actively discouraging her time with me, especially spending nights. We have shared custody 50/50 for the last 5 years with no issues, all of this seemed to come out of the blue about a year ago. We also have a son together who is 10 years old. Below I’ve tried to list as much detail as I can without making too long of a post. Daughter: No interest in anything that doesn’t involve being at his house Does not want to sleep anywhere other than dads house. Says he needs her there, he will be sad, he won’t be the same (says he tells her these things) Afraid to sleep alone or in her own room. Falls asleep easily when I lay down with her and reassure her Loss of interest in activities usually enjoyed. Says she would rather be at dads house than take part in a fun activity, refuses sleepovers with friends Does not want to go on fun family trips/outings because she needs to be with dad. Comes up with ridiculous reasons why she can’t come on a weekend trip with mom and siblings Extreme emotional reactions. Shuts down and cries at the slightest indication of wrongdoing, or angry outbursts at family members for no reason Tells me she sleeps alone at dads house, have been made aware lately that she sleeps with him (if it is merely a sleep issue, why lie?) her brother told me she sleeps in her dads bed, she glared at her brother and was upset that he told me Very secretive about her phone conversations with him. Hides in her room, sits in front of the door so no one can come in Says her dad tells her he wants to move away with her, said that he asked her how she would feel about moving away (her and him) and asked her to keep it a secret When asked why she doesn’t want to stay at moms, just says I don’t know, there is no reason, I just want to be at dads Dad: Gives her 25 mg gravol to sleep every night (I found out in the last month or so, she tells me he gives her a “sleeping pill” every night), told me she sleeps in her own bed when I recently found out that she does not Overheard him telling her “I don’t want you to sleep at moms house either but your mom for some reason wants you to” gets angry with me when I tell her she can go to a sleepover if she wants to, saying “so she can sleep at a friends house but she can’t sleep at her dads house?” Tells me I’m making her miserable just to have it my way, that I’m insisting on her sleeping at my house because it hurts him and I take pleasure in that. Constantly talks about how much it hurts him that I make her sleep at my house Says he feels a connection with her like he never had with another human being, that I won’t understand and he won’t explain it to me Says she is just such a beautiful person, that he “sees people for who they are, whether they’re his child or not” says that I take her for granted and do not appreciate just how amazing she is Says he just can’t stand to be away from her, that I don’t have the connection with her that he does and when he feels like that is threatened it brings out a monster in him (in response to me insisting she spend equal nights at my house, as it has always been) Buys her whatever she wants, expensive computer system, tablets, laptops, while her brother does not get these things Refuses to let her speak with a counsellor despite my insisting that she needs to speak with someone. (Sleep issues, changes in behaviour, has been going on for the last year) Called me in a rage because he found out she had spoken with someone without his knowledge. Said I should not bring people in to screw with his daughters head. Says we need to let her work it out herself Approached me multiple times asking me to sign over custody of her to him, that I could have custody of our son Extremely possessive of her, wants to keep her all to himself, flies into a rage every time I enforce my time with her, refuses to let her go on trips with me because he doesn’t want to be separated from her, claims I am not going to keep her safe, that she doesn’t do well going to other places Writes her letters that are way beyond her comprehension and tells her to keep them in a secret place at my house I don’t know if I am over reacting or over thinking but all of this just feels very wrong. ... View more