OMG - I am in exactly the same situation. My son was perfectly normal until March 19th this year then completely derailed. He was finding items around the house to use as a weapon. We had a shocking incident one day where he became completely psychotic and threatened to kill me and we had to call the police for help. They ended up placing an AVO on him to protect me. In our case our son still lives at home so the AVO has made the relationship even more tenuous and not really made me feel any safer if I were honest. He is however being treated by a psychiatrist who has put him on medication to level out his moods and this has made a noticeable difference. Perhaps this is something you could consider too? Though getting them to take their medications is of course tricky (especially if they regularly couch surf and don't come home) and is also often counteracted by the 'recreational' drugs they are taking that we don't always know about.
We know we can't stop the drugs but we can make it harder for him to buy them. It seems that $20 is the required amount to get a small amount of marijuana so we never give him more than $10 for anything. We have cut all access to money in the house - I keep my credit cards in my phone case and my phone on me at all times. I've pretty much stopped using cash ever. We've also taken all jewellery and valuables to work and locked them away in a cabinet.
For what it's worth when I work at home I have put into place safety measures. I've also decided that I am not going to let my love for my son (I still remember him from before all this happened) cause me to allow myself to be a victim of domestic violence at his hands. You are well within your rights to set boundaries and protect yourself so don't hesitate to do whatever you feel comfortable with. Best of luck. I hope things start to improve for you.
... View more
Hi @Designed, Yes, definitely. He's been seeing a psychiatrist twice a week for a while now and is on a raft of medications. He does have ADHD and also severe depression. But our biggest problem is that he developed PTSD from years of bullying and overly zealous disciplining at a private boys school that he used to attend. Despite our psychiatrist advising against it, the school essentially expelled him (and a number of other boys) over a couple of relatively minor incidents and at the time painted him to be a sociopath. The parents of his friends subsequently forbid their sons to associate with him and his self-esteem and depression plummeted even further. He now sees himself as a 'menace to society' and is on a path of self-destruction. He has completely lost his sense of identity and has befriended all the other kids in the area that display antisocial behaviours. He's easily led and now regularly trespasses, shoplifts and smokes cigarettes and marijuana. My husband and I are still doing our absolute best to support him but obviously there is a limit to what we can do if he isn't willing to change or accept help when it is offered. We haven't been able to have a normal conversation with him for quite a while now and more recently he has been going to great lengths to avoid going to his psychiatric appointments. As I mentioned in my first post his crimes are starting to catch up with him and he's now being formally charged for a number of misdemeanours. So we need to find a way to break through and at least talk to him fairly soon. As many others have eluded, there really isn't a great deal of practical support for people in our situation - believe me, we have tried everything. I personally have contacted dozens of agencies and charities. We've considered boot camps, wilderness programs, overseas therapeutic boarding schools, even relocating the entire family interstate or overseas. So far though we haven't found a single person that has had success (other than Orbit64) with one of these and some of them the psychiatrist says could be even more damaging to his mental health. Hence why I'm always interested to hear what, if anything, others have found successful. It sounds like you've managed to get through a rough time. I'd love to hear more about your story and what finally turned things around for you too if you can spare the time. Thanks so much for your message. :)
... View more
Hi Orbit64, Just wondering if you have a more recent update. My son has just turned 15 and sounds so similar to your son it's uncanny. We're in the 'used up all police cautions, heading to court and youth conferences, being fined almost daily' phase of the process. I'm wondering if you've seen any positive improvements yet and what if anything worked for you. Thanks
... View more