Thank you very much Tom for your advice. I’m so overwhelmed with the response. When I wrote my first post I took it as to blow of steam, I never expected anyone to respond. I do apologise about the guidelines. Then you for editing it - clearly I didn’t read them properly. It’s a very hard situation to tackle with my husband. I know he loves me a great deal. At first when I bought up that I thought maybe his son had an issue, I was totally shut down. I don’t have kids of my own so I guess you could say it’s hard for me to understand when someone makes judgements about them. I actually took it upon myself to get him diagnosed. Of course being a step mum and not a blood line I couldn’t do this without my husband which to me was fine because I needed my husband to hear it for himself! I needed the doctor to say this, this and that. He agreed and along we went. Since then there has been many arguments over this topic with both my husband and step son (who just copies what his dad says) I think I’ve done well to block it out and just done what I was told and what the teachers advised me to do. My husband owns 2 business so a lot of this nonsense that goes on at home, seem to always be in the hours that I have his son. I also have noticed that when “daddy” comes home.... son is a “good” boy for daddy. This kinda makes me look like the bad person because when I explain things that he has done or said, I guess you could say, it’s hard for my husband to fully get on board as he sees a different child. Not defending him but I’ll say it again that I don’t have kids so I do wonder if this is just a natural instinct that happens when your child is born or is this me being the odd one out? - I mean he could of come to the counselling but if I’m being totally honest, I think I needed a good cry each session without my husband there. I needed to express my true feelings without him knowing to the full extent of them if that makes sense. The therapist also never advised me to bring him either so I never did. I guess you might be right though, perhaps if he saw it, heard it, things might be different now but I guess I was afraid of the “you hate my son” talk which I TOTALLY DONT!!! Where I’m up to now: I’m still around. I’m still with my husband. I guess what I can say now is I feel a little better only because I’ve taken a HUGE leap back! For my own health, I had to caring so much and focus on my wellbeing. I work, take long baths lol and go for extra long walks now just to get some “me time” as far as my stepson goes, I can’t entertain his behaviour. If I see he is trying to get my attention by being rude, silly or naughty I will totally walk away or count to 10 in my head. Thank you so much for getting back to me. Really appreciate it.
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