Hi, I can understand what's you're going thru and how you feel. However, as an opinion, this is not a set of rules for parents to follow but a set of beliefs about what children need to develop and thrive. First of all, I'm going to ask you to step outside the traditional box of parental thinking and reframe everything you thought you knew about how kids learn and what they need to grow into mature, responsible adults. This does not require you to abandon all of your parenting practices. Just be mindful as you shift your thinking about what your teenaged child needs and investigate what's really going on behind the behavior. Their immaturity leads them to perceive and respond to the world around them much differently than you. As we mature, we collect, sort, and file away our emotional experiences as reference points. A foundation of self-regulation, resiliency, and attachment is built - memory after memory - shaping our perspective, beliefs, self-concept, and outlook. Fill the hearts and minds of your children with acceptance, understanding, and confidence. Try these three conscious parenting tips to start building a more influential relationship with your child so she/he can follow what been told. Be a Conscious Parent and CHECK YOUR LANGUAGE - is it harsh, sarcastic, cruel, degrading, impatient, insensitive, or otherwise disconnecting in tone or attitude - verbally or nonverbally, or is it kind, respectful, encouraging, and confident? CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS - is your request developmentally appropriate? How can you help your child? Can you control the environment to meet your needs w/out your child's help? CHECK YOUR SELF-REGULATION - is your manner calm and confident? Are your limits set with kindness regardless of how your child reacts? Can you remain composed and non-argumentative even when your child is not? I want to help you shift from a traditional (power-based) view of parenting to a conscious (relational-based) view , so you can bring the focus back to helping your child self-regulate, build skills - all while building strong bonds between you. Don't always think you are been making use by your child. You should have unconditional care then everything will be fine.I hope this will help you.
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