Hi, My 18 yr old son is stonewalling me. We haven’t talked in months. He lives with me. We used to be really close. He turned 18 in early Aug. Had his license suspended for 3 months and had a breakup of an 18mth relationship. By the end of Aug he stopped talking to me. From lead in conversations and third party feedback the best I can come up with is that I don’t listen and he doesn’t like how I give my opinions, thoughts & ideas. I understand where he is coming from but he hasn’t given me the chance to change. He has just cut me off. He is in pain. I get it. I gave him space & what support were I could for the first couple of months but life got intense. I bought my first home. Had a fall just before moving and needed help and he did nothing. Not even for his own stuff until the last minute under threat of not coming with me. That was a month ago. I have Depression. I’m diagnosed BPD but I’ve done a lot of work although the base reactions are there. He works. He has money. He has equivalent to me. We have fought about this because he was living off me in part while saving his money. He has been paying board which I have increased and he now has to buy his own food. It’s still cheaper than if he moved out. His room is a pigsty. His room in the place we left was so bad. Cost me a lot to get it sorted and I don’t want him to do the same to my home. I keep trying to give him space. I seek advice from all the phone lines - beyond blue, parenting & family phone lines. Today I’m calling some local services. I start out well, giving him time. Using the right words. Asking not telling but I get nothing. He’ll make some effort only after I’ve asked multiple times over days/weeks. And then finally threaten with do ... by ... or move out but it’s getting old. I try to just accept it. Be nice with hello’s & goodbyes. I don’t ask him anything about his life, what he’s doing any more. He mostly works. He stays out late but I don’t think he’s drinking etc. but who knows really. He’s now not eating much. He gets free food from his different work places but he won’t buy himself food and he is starting to get sick - stomach & bowel. Known issues related to how he eats. He doesn’t really have friends. Neither do I. My mum is supportive but it’s complicated. If he won’t make any effort to mend our relationship then I want him to move out. I feel like he is just using me because ultimately it’s cheaper living with me than on his own. He has signed up to go to Canada in May but that dependent on covid & quarantine costs I really want to break this wall and get thru to him but I’m scared I’ll just break myself ... View more