Hi, I'm looking for advice here, as I might be over-complicating my situation. I (49M) live with a bit younger woman and her 13 year old daughter. Up till now, after living there a couple of years, I haven't been alone with the daughter in the house. If the mum has needed to go out on her own, I've gone out too, but this is proving to be a burden. Question: What do couples do when a man moves in with a woman and her kids? Is it okay for him to be left alone with the kids, is it okay for the mum to go out and leave him to look after them, for an hour or two say, or longer? I'm asking this from the point of view of the man not wanting to have allegations made against him. The reason for this is I'm anxious, and if the daughter were to make an allegation against me and then I would have to move out, I'm not very good at looking after myself and at this time of increasing homelessness and over-burdened social care, I'm afraid that I wouldn't cope very well. I've talked about this with the mother, and she has complete trust in me, I'm an honest and caring person. A friend of ours spoke to a social worker, and she advised that I protect myself by not being alone with the girl. I just wonder what other couples do. Is it completely normal for a man to move in with a single mum and kid(s), and for the mum to have to go out and leave the kid or kids alone with the new partner? How does a man protect himself from the small risk that the child might make up a story which could potentially ruin his life? I would just appreciate to hear from anyone who has experience or insight into this. Surely there must be many men in such a situation, do they just live with that risk? Are there any safety measures a man might take against this. I should add that I have a good relationship with the girl, enjoy being a replacement dad, she has accepted me into their home and looks to me for advice and support. Am I worrying unnecessarily?
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