Thanks so much for your email. She has recently changed schools and the new school (plus her previous school) are/were so supportive in trying to find us the help we need. It all comes down to her not wanting to engage with anyone which makes it hard to get started on any repair to our relationships. She thinks home is a toxic place because we have rules and boundaries. I admit, that I'm probably a bit strict but that comes from a place of her not being trustworthy. She wants freedom to do whatever she wants with her friends and thinks I shouldn't check up on her or check that there are other parents that will take care for her. I get she is trying for her independence but she is going about it all the wrong way and I can't make her see what she is doing. She thinks we are pushing her away. I'm at a complete loss with her - the struggle is real - I just want my daughter back.
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Hi @Piper I feel you are telling my story - so many similiarities. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass but I'm not sure how much strength I have left to handle anymore. My nearly 16yr old struggles to connect with peers and adults. She has recently moved schools but her behaviours from her previous school are already starting - defiance, missing classes, shutting down, etc. She absolutely refuses help from anyone and I really feel if she would just open up and talk to someone she wouldn't be so angry and we wouldn't be the enemy. She has expressed that as soon as she turns 16 she is moving out of home because home is not a place she wants to be as she is unhappy. My husband & I have already raised two beautiful children who are amazing adults making their way in the world. My daughter harbors alot of anger and if anyone tries to talk to her she shuts down. She has started to become verbally abusive towards me with her swearing and foul mouth - I don't think she would do the same with her Dad. I have tried to find so much help but with her resistance there is not much anyone can do for us and I am so fearful she will leave home - not sure if I should let her walk or try and stop her. I have no idea where she will go and how she will support herself. Such a scary time. I'm normally a very upbeat person but this is breaking me and my husband and I feel she is creating a wedge between all family members. I hope things work out for you and I am willing to listen to any advice. Good luck - hang in there!
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