Hi all, New poster. So my daughter is 12 and we are dealing with school refusal. It started about half way through grade 2. She used to go to school and kindy great prior to this. Im not sure if i can really pinpoint what changed. I was working nights, i also got pancreatitis twice and regardless of telling her i would be ok she worried alot. after that i noticed when i would go to work she would stress that i wouldnt come home and then id take her to school and she would scream for me, saying she needed to be near me and we all put it down to extreme seperation anxiety.
She would make threats about punching everyone until i came to get her. Try jumping fences, etc Teachers would tell me to hard love it because if i cave and take her home she would do it everytime. It was an extremely stressful time and i would end in tears most mornings as i just wasnt sure what to do. My quiet sweet girl would become aggressive and swear and scream. we were told this was her extreme anxiety causing a fight or flight, with her it was fight and adrenaline. We started seeing a child psychologist who did equine and pet therapy and eventually a pead who diagnosed her with lvl 2 autism and inattentive adhd. She is now in year 7 and is no longer worried about being away from me, in fact the complete opposite. she couldnt care less. She seems to hate me, cant talk to her about anything without her talking to me like im the biggest moron alive. and after fighting with her for 5 years every single school day we have made no progress. We have changed schools, to ones that have better SEP programs etc. we finally got it right and found a amazing school , unfortunately that was through grade 6 and then along came high school. We tried and got 3 weeks in she refused for the rest of the term. we tried everything, rewarding her. taking away electronics. doing half days. you name it. she just wouldnt get out of the car. We are trying home school again for the second time and i cant even get her to do this. try taking it to the park with a milkshake and doing some - NOPE, Try doing 10 mins here and 10 mins there - NOPE. all she wants to do is sleep, talk to her old school friends on the phone or read Anime comics. I am so lost as to what to do here. In the last 3 years i think there prob isnt very many days that go past where i dont hide in the room and cry from frustration. The schools are hounding me for her results and i have to keep making excuses and promising them that im trying to get her work uploaded but when she just refuses i dont know what to do. Part of me wishes i could just tell her fine, be done with school, and wait a year or two until she has matured a little and is more willing to open up to people and talk and find something she is passionate about to pursue. and then pickup the schooling then. Because right now i feel like we are both banging out head against a brick wall and the more i try to get her to do anything the more she digs in her heels. Please tell me i am no alone in this? I also have a 10 year with hyperactive adhd and autism. he is great with school most days but his temper goes from 0 to 100 in seconds and the screaming, swearing, punching kicking is crazy.
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