We have no co parenting plan or communication agreement outside of the court order that we achieved after I had to fight for proper visitation. I have my daughter every other weekend and every wednesday, one over night and the other for 3 hours. Additionally, I get 7 days that we mutually agree upon (although it has been dictated not agreed) at Christmas and half of spring break and 2 individual weeks each summer. I have asked for an extra hour for a family pool party to which I get `No, stick to the court order`. I have also been threatened that calling without notice is harassment. My daughter is 11 and not once, not one single time, have we spoken. Its awful for parent teacher night, silence. I am made to feel like the outsider, and I have been run down to other parents in the school. Yet, I am the one calling the school to get set up on the app for parents. My daughter even told me once that I was not allowed to have the app because only one parent per child can be registered. She had one teacher that was so sweet that she hand delivered my fathers day card because she was afraid I wouldnt get it. Well that teacher is no longer in the mix so Im left out again. I get no notice of dr appts or braces until after they are done. Then the mother tells our daughter that I am not involved. I truly have no idea what is ever said of me because my daughter is afraid that she is not being loyal to her mother. All I want is to be an equal part in my daughters life. I do not ever want or wish ill upon her mother or anything of the kind. Every child deserves both parents equally, and sadly, all communication from her mother says MY CHILD. I need and want to be the best father I can be in this situation, I need to learn how to communicate without saying or asking about anything to do with her mothers home. Has anyone successfully navigated these waters?
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I am a remarried father of 2 girls. My oldest from my first marriage as a teen is 26 and done uni and now a teacher. The youngest (11) is from a non relationship and I have not lived with the mother and only a 4 month relationship to begin with.
I am struggling more than ever trying to be in my daughters life. Her mother makes our time together so hard. IF she has any fun or any regular things we do that make it our special time like camping out in the backyard or going to starbucks for a drink, her mother tells her that is not right to do, or that she shouldnt do that because that is their special thing. My daughter is visibly confused by the fact we dont talk. I finally tried to speak to her face to face 7 months ago, when I asked if we could all see a family counsellor together because our daughter deserves better from us both. Well, that did not go well. For days I was getting msgs of how Im ruining the relationship myself and they dont need counselling. I am the problem and so on. When I go to her baseball, there is no hello, or greetings. In fact worse, Im belittled and sassed at by my daughter now because the other parents and the coaches came to see me after a practice. Its made her mother so mad that she tells our daughter I dont even pay attention to her and she asked flat out, how was my game if you even saw any of it.
So my question is. If anyone has been through this and been successful at maintaining a relationship with your child while the other parent tries to alienate you.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I am a father of 2 beautiful girls. One is done university and now a teacher, the other is 11 and does not live with me sadly but I fight for my spot in her life everyday. My girls are my life and seeing them together is all I dream of when they are not. I do my best but its hard sometimes juggling work, volunteer coaching of kids, and all the families other sports and clubs and so on. I have been looking for co parenting resources for months and finally found this. I am hoping someone may be able to help with the struggles of being alienated by the ex. Having raised my oldest daughter alone from 4 years old on, I have been through so much, but all these years later, I can only remember the good. Yes it had its stressors but my daughter and I are so close, we never really had much to argue about. I was 19 when she was born and I was still in highschool. Her mom left us at 4 when I was just 22. It was hard and to be fair I dont know how I got through those years. But I am here now and happy to help anyone with anything.
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