Hi, Dimes--I feel for what you're going through!  My kids are younger teens so I'm not quite where you are, but it must be difficult when your young adult isn't making lifestyle decisions that you agree with!  One thing struck me that I hope you won't mind me wondering and asking you to ponder and that's about the idea of what might be called over-parenting.  You mentioned not wanting to suffocate or be over protective and those are great instincts in my opinion.  The fact that you are still sorting his wardrobe even though he is college-age makes me wonder what other things you *might* be doing for him that he could and probably should be doing for himself.  Is it possible that you've been making decisions about his life up til now, that he didn't have the opportunity to make for himself (but with your guidance in the background)?  I mention this because I am currently reading the outstanding and eye-opening, How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims.  I have shades of the "Concierge Parent" style--yikes!  It's well-meaning, but is robbing them of the chance to work things out for themselves in some cases. Maybe something to consider? Also, I think it's entirely fair as a parent to share your concerns about drug use (at any age)  and I love the idea of his sibling feeling him out!  Good luck!!!!! ... View more