Again, I am in exactly the same position. I try to remain very calm with him and could previously talk him down. That no longer works. I do find if he is starting to kick off, if I ignore him and the behaviour completely it does diffuse more quickly. I, like you, have spent most of my time focussing on him. Doing everything I can to ensure everything is ok to avoid him kicking off. There is no point. I am starting to learn that no matter what I do, if he wants to kick off, he will. I need to focus more on my other two children and not just him. It is so unfair to the other two. My son also admits he is wired differently. He has previously attended counselling which has been of limited help. He calls every shot. If he wants to go out, he goes out. If he doesnt want to go to school, he completely refuses. If he goes to school and wants to go home, he just leaves. I cannot parent him. I feel like I have completely failed as a parent. I know it sounds awful but I am also completely embarrassed by it all. I occasionally see glimpses of the wonderful, kind young boy that he really is, which again is heartbreaking as he is in there somewhere but the substance misuse has taken over him. Will they ever come through this? How do we support them? ... View more

There doesn’t seem to be much support available. My son’s new school is trying to support us and I have support from Young Offenders. The challenge is nothing seems to work as my son is either unable or has no interest in changing his behaviours. I do have friends and family but it is very difficult as they are tired of hearing the challenges, have no understanding of how horrendous living this nightmare is (make him go to school. How? Stop him hanging around with the wrong crowd. How? He shouldn’t be acting like this. I know!) and I consequently find myself avoiding everybody. My other two children are affected by this but appear to manage it very well. They do not have any specific support but we talk openly and I encourage them to talk to me. It is a living hell. ... View more

@feeling_lost I am so sorry to hear you are going through something similar. Our sons behaviours and situations sound very much alike and I agree the path is so lonely and dark. It is heartbreaking to watch the downward spiral and there doesn’t seem to be any help available for them or for us. I really don’t know what to say. I hope beyond hope that they will get through this but at the moment I cannot see any signs of anything improving. Sending you all my best x ... View more