Hi I'm knew and this is quiet a big step for me to be putting this onto paper so to speak but I am really struggling and I'm not coping at all. My 17 Year Old son (only child) has up until last year been an amazing funny loving and caring human being and the two of us had a special bond full of love and good memories we have never!! had any issues. He was always enthusiastic always wanting to achieve well in both school (his above average)  and outside activities had dreams and great friends never angry ( and I can honestly say never) wanted to go to Uni was already thinking about his future.         Last year he changed he just became a lost soul hated school no longer smiled wouldn't talk to me or even socialise with me or anyone else, told me he had no friends was never happy he made it all up . We knew something was wrong and we did try and psychologist, but my son said that didn't help. It was the worst few months of my life the pain of it all watching him suffer broke me .   As time passed he got a bit better started socialising again with friends then got himself a girlfriend. Things have been say 85% better the last few months (school was still an issue he just gave up and didn't care which still wasn't him ) and he had the odd bad day but I was relieved and glad to see we have come out of what was a very traumatic period for all of us I kept saying I couldn't go thru that again and was thanking the stars thinking we had made it thru.   Then about 3 weeks ago it started again. He told me he could feel it creeping up. He has since split up with his girlfriend and was devastated. But now i think he is worse than last time , not only has he stopped talking, he is now showing anger he gets easily agitated he won't even come out of his room to eat with us and his is becoming defiant.(He is still socialising and going to gym) I can see he is in pain and yes we have booked an appointment with someone but we literally after ringing 20 people couldn't get in till next week.  But my heart is broken and I am trying everything to help but it literally keeps getting shoved back into my face,  I am very patient I do listen and I don't tell him to fix himself, I tell him I love him every day and that I am always there, I think I have read every article I can read. I can't function I am a person that carries the weight of other people and I am trying to be so strong so I can help him but truthfully I am slowly fading and can hardly get thru my day without crying. I'm not sure what I can do but i thought maybe actually saying it loud to other people that may have experience at this might make me feel better?? I'm so sorry such a long post. ... View more