I have a 16 year old daughter who I adore but I am so confused stressed and sad and I am not sure how to move forward. My daughter pretty much does whatever she wants and there is no “currency” for me to work with. I have always been very supportive. Encouraging any activities or interests she has. I haven’t asked for much of her at all. She has generally made good decisions as far as I can tell and attends school and does reasonably well however the last few months have been more concerning. Anytime she is asked to do anything she doesn’t want to do (clean her room dishes in sink) anything it isn’t with defiance and attitude. Recently we had a text war because she didn’t want to clean her room her only chore (she insists on the texting she said she feels more comfortable this way) I have tried to approach her the way she feels most comfortable so using text instead of not communicating at all, asking her to do things with me, trying to make general small talk but she is very dismissive and disrespectful of me however if I ask her to do something at all she acts like I have insulted her. Now she is staying out later and I told her to let me know where she was and not to use public transport after a certain hour. She used to let me know where she was and when she would be home but lately this has stopped and I feel like I am begging for any information. When she decided not to clean her room I told her that if she didn’t want to contribute to the household in anyway then she could not take from the household and would be responsible for her own laundry, streaming services, wifi, mobile etc. she has a job so this doesn’t bother her and she has no problem living in the mess she creates in her room. The one and only thing asked of her now is that she lets us know where she is and how she is getting home and she isn’t doing that and basically just ignores my texts I have no idea how to approach this. I have tried being calm and just asking for a chat but she will only text I have tried telling her I worry and just need to know she is safe that gets an eye roll Unless she wants something she doesn’t speak to me I have no idea how to set or enforce any kind of boundary when there is nothing “in it” for her My 19 year old son never behaved like this so I am at a loss Any advice welcome
... View more