I could have written what you have, almost verbatim. I feel your grief whole-heartedly. I have come to this forum searching for some support and guidance and reassurance too. I have no answers for you, only to say that you are not alone...as I know how lonely it can feel. My now 15 year old began transitioning just before Christmas 2020. It was like a slap in the face, a bolt from the blue. We did not see it coming. He had told me that he had thought he was bisexual, then pansexual, then panromantic a month or 2 before he told me that he thought he was actually a male. No worries babe, you do you, we love you regardless of who you are. But it was almost like he was upset that there was no reaction. He has continued to attempt to push the boundaries, dying his hair black and now pushing us so far away...I ,like you, don't recognise the person he can be now. He was always so caring and empathetic and loving and now, sometimes he can be downright nasty and unkind. We feel so confused and lost as to what we have done or more specifically not done. All I can hope is that the smiles return one day. Like I said, unfortunately, no advice...but definitely know, you aren't alone. I hope your son finds himself again soon
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