firstly I am sad this happening for your daughter and you. Thankfully, I havent had first hand experience with this. Without, being judgemental, may I ask the reason for your daughter living with your aunt and uncle? Is this a temporary arrangement? if you dont feel comfortable in answering or sharing why, I completely understand. I am just trying to understand the situation and family dynamics as they may give some credence to leading to the self harming. For a person to resort to self harming there is either mental illness at play or other underlying contributing factors. A few thoughts come to mind - a cry for help ( which I would question is there bullying involved, any incident of sexual or domestic abuse?) - is she a person who has any type of spectrum diagnosis ( ADHD) - does she like school - what are the family mechanics - mother , father, step family, other siblings and how many in the family - teenagers is a hard age as they navigate in to further adulthood and their brains are necessarily wired to deal or communicate certain feelings they maybe having, couple with hormones going berko. - does she have aa good group of friends or at least one or two special friends she can seek comfort from or confide in to at least communicate with someone what she is going through. - how much time do you or an adult figure she trusts and loves spend time with her - my other question is has this raised with someone professional( e.g. GP, Psychologist, School counsellor, school or local chaplain) to seek further help for her. If not I would consider asking your daughter is she open to this help or at the very least going to GP and gaining a mental health plan to seek help from counselling for her. Has she consulted or have your or someone suggested one of the many mental health hotlines to call and seek assistance, depending on where you live there may also be some support groups to gain help from. HeadSpace are really good with teens I believe. THe earlier help is gained, the greater success you have to nipping it in the bud. I hope you find this helpful and I wish you and your daughter well.
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HI There, I am a single mum of boy/girl teens, both 14. Its tough being on my own sometimes as I feel alot of the time I am just the good/bad cop. Generally I have a a great rapport with my teens as a parent and very in tune with them. But as they have progressed to teenage hood it is sometimes harder to communicate with them. They dont always want to share or I find they become overwhelmed with their own feelings. I am going through a tough time at the moment with my daughter who suffers with depression and anxiety. recently we have butt heads more. we recently had an instance where I caught her out on not sharing something with me and wouldn't open up to me about the issue. ( it was really minor in the scheme of things, but it was not the first time I had caught her out in trying to hide something in her bedroom from me. I needed to send her a message, to not fob me off or not feel comfortable in sharing the truth - with hindsight in mind, thinking when it came to more crucial or matters that involved risk, that she would be inclined to hide it from me. I am mindful of the pattern at stake and want to step in and correct it, before such instances occur. I am not naive to think that as teenagers, this will never happen, but I am as a parent, want both my kids to know they can come to me about anything and more so when they are faced with a situation they are really unsure about. I communicate this to them all the time by the way) Anyway, at first I had said you cant go to a friends meet up, cos I was expecting her to tell me the truth. She then pulled the mental health card on me and I relented, and said you can go, but I restricted and minimised the time. IN part of the blow up, She shared, she didnt trust me. As a parent, I was shattered. I was also concerned, if she couldnt trust me, who could she trust. IN a time of real need, who would she turn to? I guess her struggle with mental health is hard to manage and watch. I too have a history of mental illness I manage and often blame myself, that she is mirroring my own behaviour, yet she has been formally diagnosed and we are dealing with it. living in a region where mental health services are stretched to the max, it is a tightrope walk and just want to use another medium in case it cast some help I hadnt been able to get. I appreciate any constructive comments. thank you
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