15 year old Runaway

[whenwillitend]

Hello - thanks for reading our wits end story:

Our 15 year old boy ran off to stay with his girlfriend, citing a possible threat to him of family violence. Child protection has contacted us to check and they advise not much they can investigate as both parties are 15 years old.

The girlfriend's mom seem oblivious to our concerns and is calling the shots as a go-between our son and us parents. We are aware from his previous bragging to eldest brother that they are in a sexual relationship , and that since his move, has stopped all his extra mural sports and Cadet attendance.

We did not try and bring up our son with this arrangement in mind and wonder why the mother is 'protecting' him. From conversations with the mum, and our son, the family has had a chequered past, which distresses us even further.

Individually, 2 of us are attending family counseling this weekend, with the aim of eventually getting the 4 of us together at a session; this again on the suggestion by the mom - its starting to feel like a delaying tactic to keep our son long-term.

Please offer any suggestions as to how to speed up the process + not be reliant on the girlfriend's mother for all our news (the school counselor does check in on our son but can't be solely on his case).

A final idea would be the possibility of having our son stay somewhere neutral away from any influences, while this whole event gets investigated and resolved - we would appreciate any feedback including legal possibilities.

thanks

[Stormy-RO · Accepted solution]

Hey @whenwillitend reading what's been happening with your son running away from home I can imagine how stressful and heart-wrenching this must be for yourself and your family. It's understandable that you are worried about your son's change in behaviour, like quitting his extracurriculars and bragging about his relationship to his older brother, and also the fact that you can't communicate directly with him. It all adds extra strain to the dilemma of him not returning home in the first place.

It sounds like you are already taking steps in order to improve the situation, like setting up family counselling and making sure you stay in contact with your son's girlfriend's mother so you know what's going on with him. It's great that the school counsellor does check in and I was wondering if there was anyone else in the school that could help with this, like a teacher or year coordinator? I also was wondering if your son has any supports outside of his girlfriend, like extended family or friends, who he might be communicating with and can give him support?

Unfortunately ReachOut cannot provide or be a platform to communicate legal advice so we can't help you in this regard, however if you are in financial difficulty and looking for legal support, Legal Aid can provide this for you. We'd also suggest the Family Relationship Advice Line as they offer legal advice, counselling and help with family dispute resolution. Parentline is another useful place to seek advice.

It's important in times like this that everyone in a family is able to look after themselves. Have you been doing anything to look after yourself and the rest of your family, like self-care or seeking personal or professional help?

[Stormy-RO · Accepted solution]

Hey @whenwillitend reading what's been happening with your son running away from home I can imagine how stressful and heart-wrenching this must be for yourself and your family. It's understandable that you are worried about your son's change in behaviour, like quitting his extracurriculars and bragging about his relationship to his older brother, and also the fact that you can't communicate directly with him. It all adds extra strain to the dilemma of him not returning home in the first place.

It sounds like you are already taking steps in order to improve the situation, like setting up family counselling and making sure you stay in contact with your son's girlfriend's mother so you know what's going on with him. It's great that the school counsellor does check in and I was wondering if there was anyone else in the school that could help with this, like a teacher or year coordinator? I also was wondering if your son has any supports outside of his girlfriend, like extended family or friends, who he might be communicating with and can give him support?

Unfortunately ReachOut cannot provide or be a platform to communicate legal advice so we can't help you in this regard, however if you are in financial difficulty and looking for legal support, Legal Aid can provide this for you. We'd also suggest the Family Relationship Advice Line as they offer legal advice, counselling and help with family dispute resolution. Parentline is another useful place to seek advice.

It's important in times like this that everyone in a family is able to look after themselves. Have you been doing anything to look after yourself and the rest of your family, like self-care or seeking personal or professional help?