23 year old son deeply depressed

[Mel66]

Hi I new to this chat. I am extremely worries about my 23 year old son. He has dealt with mental health issues his whole life has ADHD and was medicated until he left school. He has always lashed out in anger and it has been a day to day journey with him. For the last 4 years he has been in a really good place - had a job friends, going to the gym and was outgoing and confident. The place where he was working shut down and since then has been unable (really not trying to get a job) - I had let him go as I thought he would be ok - but it has been just over 4 months now - he has not left his room (only to get food), has not left the house, stopped going to the gym or seeing friends. He is clearly having a mental health episode. I have tried talking to him numerous times but each time when I started he just said he wasn't ready to talk and I tried to give him some space. In the last few weeks when I try and discuss he gets emotionally angry, tells me to **bleep**, that I am just watchuing him suffer and not being supportive. Last week he has threatened to 'off himself" and just wants to be left alone. I am extremely worried about him. What I want to say is I dont need him to get work but I really want him to see a mental health profressional and he is refusing to even talk to me. I just dont know where to go from here. I cant just let him sit at home emotionally abusing me when I try to help. It is impacting my partner and two other children who live in the house. I know I need to also support the rest of us in our mental health fitness. I am just really lost on where to go from here. 

[Bel_RO]

Hey @Mel66 ,

I’d like to start off by welcoming you to ReachOut and would like to thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how taxing this must all be for you and your family. I would like to acknowledge the endless support you have given your son during this difficult time and numerous attempts to communicate with him despite being met with reluctance and resistance. Being persistent can be challenging and often it can feel overwhelming, so I am curious to know how you have been managing your own wellbeing during this time? 

I can hear your concerns around his change of behaviour, loss of interest and threats to ‘off himself’ and can imagine how stressful this must be for you and your family. It would also be difficult to see your son doing well and managing his mental health, to it declining and holding concerns for his well being. I want to share this topic on Suicide and Teenagers that includes a number of articles on communicating, understanding and managing suicide. In particular, this article on creating a safety plan with your teen is a great resource for ensuring your young person's safety and knowing where to go when things get tough. 

It is understood that your son has ADHD and was previously medicated for it. I’d imagine that you have an extensive amount of knowledge around this but I just thought I would share this article on how to help your teen with ADHD as it may have new information that could be useful to you. 

I look forward to hearing from you soon!