My 11 year old has ASD & Anxiety & ADHD and has school refusal

[mumof4withSN]

Hi I’m a mum to my 11y girl w special needs and has always had trouble with feeling like she fits in at school. 3rd school and has transitioned to middle campus and isn’t coping she is lashing out,very angry,refusing help and having sleeping issues. It got to a point last term I couldn’t cope anymore I started blaming myself and feel so low and down so I tried a different approach and listened to her the start of this term and kept her home and she has been calmer and doing so great with school work due to the quieter environment and her handwriting has Evan significantly improved. The problem I have is do I force her to go back and her shut of on me again and not talk or do I let her homeschool and then there is the fact I have 3 others with high complex needs also that requires lots of medical appointments. But I love the girl I’m seeing she is actually wanting to be nicer to the family members and help. But I also struggled at school I won’t be able to really help much and we also run a business but I don’t want to loose my happy girl

[Bre-RO]

Hi there @mumof4withSN 

Thank you for sharing this with us. I can imagine how stressed and worried you'd feel about sending your girl back to school. You sound like an incredibly caring mum who wants nothing more than to meet your child's learning needs. 

It's amazing to hear how your daughter responded to a quiet, safe home environment. In saying that, I can also understand why you're considering sending her to school with the other responsibilities, you are managing. Gosh, you have a lot on your mind, and I'm curious to know if you have any family/friend support at the moment? 

I'm also wondering if you've been in touch with the school to discuss support options for your daughter? Chatting with the principal and learning support teachers may help you decide what you're comfortable with. 

I thought it might help to share some resources we have for school refusal, as it is a very common concern we're hearing from parents at the moment. You are not alone in this struggle! 

• We've linked a collection of threads about school refusal in this thread. One of them is written by a psychologist which you can read here. 
• Another idea I have for you is to make an appointment with our free one-on-one parent support service which you can do here. 

I'm thinking of your family at this tough time and hope to hear back from you when you have time!