13 year old daughter doesn’t want to go away with family

[Coffee456]

My 13-year-old daughter has always struggled with anxiety and making friends. Her father & I are separated and her father is not involved at all. She has been to three different schools in the last 4 years. I’ve struggled to get her to school some days in the last couple of years, and was self harming for a bit. She hated going to psychologists and refuses any help. I think she may be self harming again but she won’t admit it to me this time.
Often she is sweet and I thought we had a pretty good relationship.
She never spends time with friends out if school hours.
She has started saying she doesn’t want to go out anywhere or away with her brother & I.
We are set to go to my new partner’s place near the seaside next week and she is strongly refusing to go saying she wants to stay home and spend time with her horse and her only friend...
I don’t want to leave her at home (my parents live next door). Should I force her to go with us against her will?

[Andrea-RO]

Hi @Coffee456, 

That does sound like a particularly stressful situation, and I can really understand why you would be anxious to leave your daughter at home by herself. You mentioned that her grandparents lived next door - Maybe it could be an option to discuss with her, and them, if she would be allowed to stay with them over the course of the week? It sounds like staying with her horse and spending time with her friend are really important to her right now, so maybe you can talk to her about why she feels really strongly about this, and see if there are any other ways to support her right now?