03-01-2018 12:52 AM - last edited on 03-01-2018 10:31 AM by Sophi-RO
The intervention we had with True North achieved some improvement.
The worst of our sons behaviour improved substantially.
This is in the context that we were on the verge of throwing him out.
It did not achieve the great turn around I had hoped for. That is not reflection on the program. It is a reflection of a boy that is very stubborn and self centred.
I would recommend you talk to True North about your specific situation and decide from there.
08-01-2019 04:46 PM
Just wondering if you have a more recent update. My son has just turned 15 and sounds so similar to your son it's uncanny. We're in the 'used up all police cautions, heading to court and youth conferences, being fined almost daily' phase of the process. I'm wondering if you've seen any positive improvements yet and what if anything worked for you.
08-01-2019 05:14 PM
08-02-2019 12:24 PM
Yes, definitely. He's been seeing a psychiatrist twice a week for a while now and is on a raft of medications. He does have ADHD and also severe depression. But our biggest problem is that he developed PTSD from years of bullying and overly zealous disciplining at a private boys school that he used to attend. Despite our psychiatrist advising against it, the school essentially expelled him (and a number of other boys) over a couple of relatively minor incidents and at the time painted him to be a sociopath. The parents of his friends subsequently forbid their sons to associate with him and his self-esteem and depression plummeted even further. He now sees himself as a 'menace to society' and is on a path of self-destruction. He has completely lost his sense of identity and has befriended all the other kids in the area that display antisocial behaviours. He's easily led and now regularly trespasses, shoplifts and smokes cigarettes and marijuana.
My husband and I are still doing our absolute best to support him but obviously there is a limit to what we can do if he isn't willing to change or accept help when it is offered. We haven't been able to have a normal conversation with him for quite a while now and more recently he has been going to great lengths to avoid going to his psychiatric appointments. As I mentioned in my first post his crimes are starting to catch up with him and he's now being formally charged for a number of misdemeanours. So we need to find a way to break through and at least talk to him fairly soon.
As many others have eluded, there really isn't a great deal of practical support for people in our situation - believe me, we have tried everything. I personally have contacted dozens of agencies and charities. We've considered boot camps, wilderness programs, overseas therapeutic boarding schools, even relocating the entire family interstate or overseas. So far though we haven't found a single person that has had success (other than Orbit64) with one of these and some of them the psychiatrist says could be even more damaging to his mental health. Hence why I'm always interested to hear what, if anything, others have found successful.
It sounds like you've managed to get through a rough time. I'd love to hear more about your story and what finally turned things around for you too if you can spare the time.
Thanks so much for your message.
08-02-2019 04:25 PM
Thank you for coming to ReachOut and reopening the conversation in this forum. It sounds like your family have been through a lot. I'm sorry to hear about the experience your son had at school - being bullied and being expelled. I can't imagine how hard it must be yourself and your husband to see him associate with this new group of friends.
It's not easy but I can sense that you are doing everything in your power to steer him in the right direction. I'm sure there are other parents here that can relate to what you're going through.
08-05-2019 06:17 AM - edited 08-05-2019 07:31 AM
09-07-2019 09:21 PM