15 year old lies about serious issues

[Sam251]

My 15 year old daughter lies constantly, sometimes little things sometimes serious issues such as today I found she’d sent lots of kids at her school a snapchat with a picture of a family members 3 year old saying he’d died of cancer and how upset she was. Kids then responded comforting her to which she carried on the lie. When confronted she said it was because she wanted people to care about her as she’s got no friends and eats lunch alone etc. She rarely goes out or socialises with kids out of school. I just don’t know what to do, I’m devastated that she’d lie about something like this and terrified a family member will see this (I’ve removed all the messages I can see but you just never know) but also feel so upset for her that she has no friends. I’ve tried everything I can think of to stop the lying (spending more time with her, talking to her, punishing her but nothing helps) Any one who has any advice it would be much appreciated.

[Lan-RO]

Hi @Sam251 welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with your daughter. It sounds like she is struggling with loneliness and making friends at school. It must have been very hard to have found out that she had lied about a family member having cancer. I'm wondering if she could speak to a school counsellor for some support? Does she have any siblings or cousins she could spend time with? I'm going to tag some members for some further support and advice @hippy_mum @CoogeeMagic2018 @lizard0812 @MazzieP We're here to listen and support you 

[Sam251]

Thank you for taking the time to respond. She does have siblings but some she doesn’t see. She is not my biological daughter. she lived with just her dad until we met and moved in together when she was 3 years old. Myself and her dad have been married for 11 years so she has a stable and loving home however Her biological mum wants no contact and hasn’t since she was a baby. She has siblings from her mum but they are older and don’t really have any interest in her either. She has a sister (who is biologically mine) who she’s very close to and she spends lots of time with children of friends at weekends etc but she’s desperate for friends at school. The biggest upset for her is spending lunch alone.
She behaved in a similar way when she was 11 / 12 years old with lying in school (she lied about a teachers behaviour towards her and claimed my son had died when I have never had a son) she saw a councillor for around six months and seemed to calm but now we seem back to square one. She doesn’t show any remorse and can’t seem to understand why people get so upset when she tells such big lies. When I suggest we look at speaking to the councillor again she got hysterical and is adamant this is not something she will do.

[betinha726]

Can the school assist with a counsellor? Speak to the teacher or coordinator about your concerns so they are aware of the situation. They may be able to implement strategies in class and keep an eye out for behavioural changes.