17 year old not coming home.

[Town625]

I know how you feel all... my daughter is the same age and started runs out from home telling me she is going to stay over night at this guy who is 25year old and she is having sex with him. She just broke up with her bf had been with for over a year and he was her first then everything going down. Too much story to tell but it is heard to deal with this kind of behaviour. She knows what she is doing wrong but she likes attention she is get from him. What can I do??? I mean she just goes out not coming back when I tell her she is not allowed... so heart broken.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Town625,

Welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums, and thank you for your strength is sharing with us what is happening for you and your family right now. 

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through with your daughter. It's such a difficult and painful situation to be in and I can hear how concerned you are

I'd be interested to hear from other parents on this thread about what they do managing difficult behaviours like this @Percattay @taokat  @sunflowermom. 

I can hear the worry about the person she is running away with.Have you had a conversation with her about this?

We are always here to listen and support you If you want to talk to us a bit more about what is happening for you and your family, you are also welcome to reply to this thread or start your own thread here .

[Percattay]

Hi @Town265,

Oh you have got your hands full. But i know that you will do whatever is in your power to help as you have already reached out for different ideas to cope with this situation.

Do you think that the 25 year old is a rebound thing that may fizzle out?

And is she practicing safe sex?

Do you think that at the moment she is feeling overwhelmed and this is her way of acting out.
One of the other parents on here gave me a great idea that hopefully I can implement this weekend. It was to create a schedule that my daughter could work on. This hopefully will give her a bit of a routine and not too much thinking time as this seems to be the enemy. Is she an energetic person? If so could you redirect that energy towards the gym or something. Sorry not alots of ideas but please know that you are not alone in this.

[sunflowermom]

Hi @Town625

I am so sorry you are going through this!  I agree with @Percattay that this is maybe some rebound thing.  But hopefully you can have the talk about birth control / safe sex with your daughter.  If you and your daughter are on good speaking terms is it possible to reach out to her and tell her how it makes you feel?  Like " I am up all night with worry when you don't come home.  Please follow the rules but at the very least text me and check in so I know what's going on?

Maybe at least knowing her whereabouts would give you a tiny bit of peace of mind.

Try to get her to go out with you to lunch or something and see if you can get her to open up a bit. Practice just listening without giving too much advice.  ( I know for myself if I can try to be quiet, which  is really hard and not my nature. I get more detail from my daughter) 

Hugs to you!  We are here to listen and offer support anyway we can.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Town625,

Just checking in to see how you are going this week? There were some kind words of support and suggestions from @sunflowermom and @Percattay  We would love to hear how you are going