17 year old son and drug use

[Island]

Hi, I am island have a 17-year-old son. He started smoking weed. We tried a soft way and a hard way and even example to tell him smoking weed is not good for you. He told us lots of people doing that, and make him happy. One of his friend the parents letting him smoking weed at home. His dad and I told him don't go to his house because we don't like you smoking that will ruin your life lately. He ’s at last year school now we would like him to finish high school, but he skipped school a couple of time now we are a worry in case he can not finish last year school. I caught weed bong under vanity two times I threw away we told him our house is no allowed smoking weed. But the most time he goes to his friend's house. We are so frustrated with that. Please help me on how to stop him. Big thanks to every mum!!

[TOM-RO]

Hi @Island, welcome to Reach Out! It sounds like you are quite concerned about your son's drug use and its potential impacts on his life and education. It's understandable that you are concerned about this. It sounds like you've tried to approach the situation from a couple of different angles, but your son has continued to smoke weed. It can definitely be difficult to manage this type of behaviour in teens. I have attached a couple of links below, which you may find helpful. It may also be a good idea to take your son to his GP, who may be able to refer him to a counsellor or psychologist. Some of the other parents on the forum may also have some useful suggestions.

https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/drugs-and-teenagers

https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/things-to-try-drugs/how-to-talk-abou...

[Island]

Hi Tom-Ro
Thank you so much for your comment and I will look at the link. My husband and I have asked GP, the GP said need our son to open up to talk to him not Parents because he is 17 years old now he can make a decision. Even today he skipped last period school. He said to me today, I know it's bad to smoking and disappointed about me, but it's my life. Sometime I will blame his friends because of smoking that you are smoking but he replied to me, not friends it's my choice. And weekend never home always stay someone’s house or go party. Everyday nagging him when go get your driver license? He says I don't bother much. I explain to him after you finish school easy to find a job because you can drive much more convenient.
I am so angry and start my voice up.
Appreciate that I have someone to talk.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Island,

To make sure that more parents are able to find your post and offer support, I have moved your posts into this new topic- hoping this will also give you a space to share more with this community

Thank you for sharing a bit more about some of the things your son is going through- I can imagine it must be really hard to watch him make decisions that clash with what you want for him. You have mentioned that your son is in his last year of school, but hasn't always been going to school. Have the school been in contact with you about his attendance?

We are always around to lend an ear when you need to talk

[Island]

Hi Jess1- RO
Thank you so much. Yes The school will send a message to let us know his at school or not. First morning around 8:30 the teacher will check all the student in school. But sometimes he left the afternoon or miss one lesson. Last week of first term year 12 he didn't go to school because he finished school on Friday told us to stay friends house, that's fine but I don't like it, on Saturday he sent a message to his dad I am not come home going to a party tonight. Next day which is Sunday he didn't come either, I was worry...my husband left Sunday for his business trip. Usually, our son will come home Sunday, Monday, the school sent me a message why your son does not attend??? Monday I went to his school mate’s ( which is girl) house to ask about our son. And I keep call him and text him...Finally, on Tuesday, he sent me a message said ” I am fine please give me some space. I told him your teacher call me about the assignment, anyway he came home Thursday and also finished his assessment on Friday his report got B which’s great. And my husband back home weekend three of us sit down we had a chat. Why you did not cane home? He said he went to a party had a cap( which is party drug make his brain likes butterfly so he could not come home. Since we worry all the time about him, if he not come home what is he doing???

Yesterday, I asked him why do you smoking weed? Is feel good? He said not really. I said if you don't like why you doing that? Because depressed? He answered to me I am not depressed now. Because fun or your friends smoking? He said both. I am frustrating how to stop him go to smoking weed friends????

Need a help?? Big thanks to everyone❤️

[Jay-RO]

Hey there @Island,

It can be worrying when you aren't sure where your son is or what he's doing. Do you think you'd be able to talk to your son about these worries? Explaining to your son that you get worried when you aren't sure what he's doing when he doesn't come home can open up the conversation of what your son can do to help keep up communication between you both. 

It's great that you were able to talk to your son and find out the reason why he does drugs. Peer pressure and hanging out with friends can often be a reason that teenagers may do drugs. We have a few threads and resources on drugs that you can check out here for resources and here for a thread on what young people would like their parents to say if they are doing drugs. These might be helpful to read through and might provide some ideas on how you can talk to your son about his drug use. What do you think? 

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