18 Year Old with no respect and hates me

[hopelessparent]

New to this forum and feeling this is my current situation. I know this post is old but would love to know if there has been any developments

[hopelessparent]

I hear you. Going through this right now and feeling totally depleted

[Allanah]

Hello and thank you for replying. Your advice is all very good and I appreciate it.
We have come a long way since I wrote this. My son did finally see that he had some depression and anxiety and has since found a fantastic Dr that he can be open and honest with and it has made the world of difference. He is so much happier now. He still has his ups and downs but nowhere near anything like it was an no aggression just low mood occasionally. He is 21 now nearly 22 and has moved into his own place and coping well with paying his bills etc. He is going out with friends and has nearly completed a trades apprenticeship. He still has a way to go but he is definitely heading in the right direction. He has a great relationship with his younger brother and he often pops over to see us and his brother. I am so happy to report all of the above. It has taken every ounce of strength in me and nearly broken my marriage to get to this place but we made it. I just hope that this gives others a glimmer of hope that things can and often do turn around.

[Allanah]

Hi there,
Sorry it’s a late response. I only just read it. I am happy to report our situation has improved dramatically since my original post in 2020. My son is now 21 nearly 22. Has his own place and nearly completed his apprenticeship. He has seen a dr for underlying depression and anxiety finally and this has made all the difference. I just wanted to let you know that you are a great mother. The fact that you are on this page trying to find a solution is testament to that. I hope my update can give you some hope that things can and often do turn around with time. Getting to this point nearly broke me I will be honest. You are doing your best and that’s all you can do. Your son has the right role model in you and will one day see this. xx

[hopelessparent]

It's so good to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel. I suspect there is depression with my son, but he is refusing to get any help right now. I'm glad your situation has improved so much. XO

[Birdwings]

I just thought I'd jump on here and recommend a book which has really helped me, our family and so many people - James Cleary's "Atomic Habits". I'd recommend reading it yourself and there is a summary at the end of every chapter which is especially good for reluctant readers and reinforcing the key recommendations which for me have really worked. The key I found was reducing those first steps into real micro steps perhaps even so small that it seems like lifting your big toe more than a step but when they keep going, they start to add up.
I hope that helps.
Best wishes,
Birdwings