05-28-2023 09:08 PM
05-29-2023 04:04 PM
Thank you for sharing this with us.
I can hear that you are concerned about your son's hygiene and body odor and it sounds like this has been something that is going on for some time now. It sounds like you have tried really hard to talk to him about this and help him with this. I can hear how patient you have tried to be with your son, and how hard you have tried to help him with this.
I know that you mentioned that you have had several conversations with him about personal hygiene, but was wondering if you have tried to talk to him about why he finds it difficult or if he has ever shared this with you? If not, do you think that it would be helpful to have this conversation with him to better understand why and if there's something that makes it difficult for him. I was wondering whether your son has any sensory issues that you are aware of?
If this is something you'd be interested in doing, we have some really great articles about communication with teenagers which you may find helpful and may be good as use as a guide to having this conversation with him. If you're interested, we also have an article on creating boundaries and open communication through puberty which you may also find helpful to have a look through.
I was also wondering whether you have spoken to a GP about this or if this is something that you'd consider? A GP would be best to share your concerns with and they would be able to provide you with the most appropriate support.
05-29-2023 07:22 PM
05-29-2023 09:42 PM
@2teenageboys It sounds like you really are doing as much as you can to try to resolve this issue but I can hear how much of an impact it is having on you. Since your son has autism, I think @Natalie-RO might be onto something with the potential of sensory issues being part of this particular puzzle. Having a chat to him about what is happening for him internally might help shed some light on the situation. Perhaps he finds showers really overstimulating (I have heard some autistic people describe showers as being like needles to them), or maybe the particular deodorant feels gross on his skin, or has a scent that he can't handle. If so, the solution might be to have baths (if possible) or to try some different kinds of deodorant. He may also experience something that is known as Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA), which you can read a bit more about here. In that case, working collaboratively with him to find ways that he can actively choose to care for his hygiene, rather than needing to be told, might be helpful. It does sound like a tricky situation, I hope that these things help you to find a resolution that works for everyone.
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