Young adult girl with adhd

[Banjo14]

Hello. I have a daughter who is 21 as battery diagnosed with ADHD depression and anxiety for sometime now it’s been very hard to communicate she had two very big moments in her life which has exacerbated the depression and anxiety we can’t seem to communicate she lives seven hours away from us and I need strategies to be able to stay close to her

[Blake-RO]

Hey @Banjo14 

Thank you for reaching out and sharing this with us.

It is understandable how concerning it would be to not be able to communicate with your daughter and having her live far away from you, especially when her depression and anxiety has exacerbated.

Is your daughter receiving any support for her ADHD, depression and anxiety from either a GP or mental health professional?

I was also wondering if you've tried speaking to your daughter about your concerns and if you've tried to talk about the communication with her?

I wanted to share this article we have on effective communication which may be helpful, it includes a list of things to try. Do you think any of these might be helpful to try? We also have a coaching service for parents, where you can speak to a family professional one on one and get some support. You can find more about it here.

As your daughter lives far away from you, I was wondering whether your daughter has any other family or friends for support that live near her?

[blackcatbex]

I don't have those answers for you. But i feel your fear, I feel the urgency you do to try and support a daughter with mental health issues.
My daughter has had mental health issues since she was 3 years old.
Not many people can see it at such a young age. But I did as her mother.
I'm heartbroken for her. I really do understand how you are feeling xxx

[Iona_RO]

Hi @blackcatbex 

Thank you so much for sharing your support for another parent, it always helps to know others understand and you're not the only one going through something

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling heartbroken for your daughter, it must've been really tough for you to support her from such a young age. How old is your daughter now? Were you able to find supports to help you both?

[blackcatbex]

It's been a really tough journey for her the last 18 months.
Last year we had to take her out of school, she just turned 10.
She sees a psychologist regularly, is currently undergoing diagnostic testing, and waiting on a paediatrician appointment which is 4 months away.
She has chronic anxiety, panic attacks, OCD tendencies, aggressive outbursts, socially inappropriate behaviour.
It's very hard for people to understand.
I have a Beautiful support group with some very close friends. And she has finally found a couple of really good friends that understand and love her no matter what.
But even as a parent, I've had to set very tight boundaries with other people. I've weeded out toxic and judgemental people, and won't allow them in our lives because they upset the stress level scales for me as a struggling parent, and for her too.
I'm very lucky to be on a small property where we have lots of animals, and horses. They have been her saving grace.
I've worked very hard to make it her safe space, and a place of serenity, and we do alot of riding and horse therapy. She is just so very talented with them. I'm very proud of her.
But every day is a struggle. And it can be so very heartbreaking to see what she goes through everyday.

[Hannah_RO]

Hi @blackcatbex , thank you for sharing more about what's going on for you and your daughter. 

I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you have both been facing. I can only imagine how heart-wrenching it is to see your daughter go through such difficulties every day. It sounds like you've been doing your best to provide support and create a safe environment for her. It is very heart-warming to read. 

It's great that you have found a support group and have close friends who understand and offer you support. Having a strong support network can make a significant difference in navigating life’s challenges. It's also lovely to hear that your daughter has found understanding and accepting friends who love her for who she is.

It sounds like setting boundaries and removing toxic and judgmental people from your lives was a necessary step to take to protect yours and your daughter’s well-being. It's important to surround yourselves with people who are understanding and supportive.

Your dedication to creating a safe and serene environment for your daughter is truly admirable. It's amazing how animals can have such a therapeutic effect, they provide such comfort and companionship too. It's great to hear that your daughter has found solace and a sense of talent and accomplishment in working with the horses.

In the midst of caring for your daughter, I hope you are able to find time to take care of yourself too. It's okay to acknowledge that things are challenging, and allow yourself to prioritise self-care and seek support when you need it. 

Take care