At the end of my tether

[Stressedmumma15]

My 15 year old son has been getting worse and worse since he was 7. He's now a foot taller than me and literally everything out of his mouth is a moan, abusive, snarky, rude, nasty or an outright lie. Today he struck his 6 year old brother and myself and ran away. He's been missing for 5 hours now and I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
There is literally nothing anyone can suggest anymore that we haven't tried and tried again. He's been to therapists and is always dishonest with them, he's been medicated and it makes no difference, he sometimes gets worse on them.
I guess I'm looking to vent? I'm not sure. I am just so worn out and at the end of my rope. Thank you for listening.

[Claire-RO]

Hi @Stressedmumma15 

Welcome to the forum, and thank you for being so open and sharing about what has been happening with your son. It sounds like things have been really difficult, especially yesterday. How are things today, is your son back at home?

It is really important to feel like you can talk about these things and this is safe place to do this. There are people on the forums that are here to listen and may have had similar experiences.

You are not alone 

[Stressedmumma15]

Thank you so much for your kind words.
My son was actually bought back by police at 6pm last night and this morning he's prancing around the house like nothing happened.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Stressedmumma15,

We are relieved to hear your son has returned home and is safe  I can't begin to imagine how stressful this experience has been for you. How are you holding up today? 

[Dad4good]

Hey @Stressedmumma15 ,

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I have been through a similar situation, search: New member . . . HELLO!

Its great to hear that you are using the available services. I think overall they are fantastic (even when your child doesn't want to use them, they can help give us strength).

Last year was really hard, but we have had a massive improvement this year, so things can get better!

We are not entirely out of the woods (past couple of days there's been a return to risky behaviours) but I'm taking this as a "laps" similar to anyone who is trying to make a positive change in life.

I would like to give you some advise (not saying its right for everyone - feel free to disregard!). . .

I used to be very proactive (doing everything I could to try and help him) and then on New Years Eve, I had enough. I decided that I had two other children (younger daughters) who actually wanted my attention, so I focused on them. My son new that I would be there for him, but that it was up to him to seek help.

I'm not sure if it was this change in my behaviour that helped, but it may have. I also think it may have worked only because he had seen me (for the previous 8 months) running myself to exhaustion trying to help him.

Who knows, it may have simply been a maturity thing (things would improve, you simply needed to give it time).

From what you have described with your son, I can completely understand what you are going though. My thoughts are with you and stay strong