10-28-2018 08:42 PM - last edited on 11-03-2018 10:12 AM by Taylor-RO
Hi #Carebear!! OMG so on the same track as you with my girl. Has been a rough last couple of Years with our girl. It started with her self-harming, we got all the help that was in offer therapy, councillor, groups, school involvement and also getting her to Dad leave (as she had mentioned that her Dad triggers her self-harm) he also went to anger management didn’t realise the words he was using were so abusive. We changed the situation in our home, no alcohol, everyone was to communicate, we had meetings every Sunday and family dinners. I cut my hours down and work we all changed everything to help her. I gave her freedom now and again but everytime she would do something wrong, drinking smoking etc. 2yrs later and I’ve come to realise that NO She is just a BRAT!!!! My other children have been pushed to the side for the last year and I’ve told her this Year, YOUR GOING TO THE SIDE!!! Because 1. She is so ungrateful and arrogant!! She’s rude and her moods are all to do with the **bleep** phone which i will be confiscating. I’m afraid I’m guna lose my mind and it’s not guna be pretty FOR HER. So stay strong
11-03-2018 12:03 AM
We completely understand you as we also are going for years through things like you.
My husband and I are constantly asking and questioning ourself what has gone wrong and if we had done something to trigger all this attitude and conflict with our now 16 years old daughter.
We came to a conclusion that no matter what we do it is always turned against us,no matter what..
We are constantly accused of everything,simple things in a flash of a second escalate into big issues in her mind,we can’t outtalk her,we can’t reason and discuss issues nicely because she gets so loud and upset with her accusations that we just let go for we don’t want to put ourself to screen at each other’s ears at the time.
Seems like she does not understand any point of view other her own,should we call it selfishness!?
To be honest,I am so disappointed,I never believed this is possible,you give all you have to those little people and what you get in return is like somebody who thinks you are the obstacle to everything in their life..so sad
Seems like everything is good when she needs us,but when is time to show some respect,,do some chores in the house or listen parents advise we are just a nusence.
11-03-2018 10:38 AM - edited 11-03-2018 10:44 AM
Hi @TiredAndTried, just letting you know that I edited your post to remove method of self-harm as it is against our guidelines here. It sounds like your daughter has a lot going on for her that is manifesting in risk-taking and other negative behaviour. Often teenagers might display behaviours that have totally different causes or meanings than what meets the eye. Is this something that has been explored with the support services you listed? Managing this alongside your own well-being and the well-being of your family is so difficult and I hear that this has been a struggle. How did the support you receive from therapy etc. help in this case? How is the anger-management and self-harm currently managed?
Hello @Aspen, it sounds like you can really relate to this post. I am sorry to hear that things have been quite difficult for the last few years. It can be a really trying period where the teenager is experiencing a lot of hormonal and self-discovery changes. Have you discussed these issues with local services like a school or counselor? It is important for parents to also receive support for themselves and engage in self-care to maintain health and well-being.
01-06-2019 05:43 PM
01-06-2019 08:01 PM - edited 01-06-2019 08:03 PM
Sounds like a tough situation @Bigbear. The current generation does deal with a whole range of different issues and technology has moved fast. It is difficult to understand and adjust to some of these things as a parent. It does have negatives and positives and can influence each child differently. Do you ever talk about the power struggle with your wife?
01-07-2019 12:56 PM
01-23-2019 03:42 PM
01-28-2019 02:36 PM
01-29-2019 09:24 PM
Hey @B-FLY we're glad you've found your voice and were able to express what's been going on for you and your daughter. This sounds like such a complex and heartbreaking situation to be in and I guess after reading through everything, I'm just hoping that you all have found some comfort in hearing each other's struggles (knowing you're not alone) & strategies and that you all @Carebear75 @Bigbear are getting some one-to-one support to help top up your tanks when you need it?