The ReachOut Parents and Carers Forum will close from 25th November 2024. Thanks to all parents and carers who have contributed to the Forum over the past 8 years - we appreciate it! For free professional coaching, check out our One-on-One Support service.
Need help now?

Feeling hopeless

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Reply
Highlighted
Scribe
IsThereAnyHelp

Feeling hopeless

Hi I don't know if anyone can help me and my children. I decided to leave my husband two years ago and as punishment he took out an IVO and has kept the kids from me (their mother) since.

My children are both suffering but I am most concerned with my teen (age 15) who stopped going to school last year. She missed pretty much all of year 9 and is now missing year 10. I've been blocked from attending her school but I can contact them and basically they aren't doing anything about it. They believe the OPs explanation for the absences - that there is a physical health issue. However my daughter has had countless tests done, sometimes more than once with no results. It is clear to me she is mentally not ok but I can't help her as I have no access to her.

I have fought and fought and fought for access and I am so drained now as I get no where. I have tried every single thing I could think of including contacting child protection.

I feel absolutely defeated whilst I watch my girls mental health slide further and further down. They both ask to live with me but he won't allow it.

It seems my only option is family law court but I can't afford it and when I did seek lawyer advice I was told I'd lose. This is because I have had charges laid on me for messages such as "please can I have my children back" or "our daughter really needs to see a psychologist I found someone heres the details". Due to Ivo and no contact he was able to have me charged for breaching the order. I am so disillusioned in the law now too. The judge did say they weren't abusive but put me on a good behaviour bond.

I am so scared of what will happen with the kids. Their mental health is already severely affected and the Ivo doesn't end till May 2025.
Mod
Bel_RO

Re: Feeling hopeless

Message contains a hyperlink

Hey @IsThereAnyHelp,

Firstly, I would like to welcome you to the ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see how taxing and exhausting things have been for you. Being separated from your children is heartbreaking to say the least and having an IVO against you has made it unbelievably difficult for you. It is completely understandable and valid to feel the way to do! 

I want to acknowledge the extensive amount of effort you have put in to be reunited with your kids. I can see how deflated you might be feeling after being repeatedly pushed away from seeing your children. It’s admirable that you are still trying your best despite all of this. 

It is really important to look after yourself during this time, so I am wondering if you have any professional support in place? I am also curious to know if you’ve spoken to friends and family about this? I encourage you to contact 1800RESPECT for additional support and advice to get through this.

An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for that.