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Frustrated over school refusal

Frustrated over school refusal


Frustrated over school refusal

we have a 15 yr old daughter who has had sporadic school attendance for her entire school career.  Today yet again, she is refusing to go - and getting angry does no good, it won't make her any more willing to go but I sometimes feel like I'm too nice and that I'm not being assertive enough, but this has been years and years.


She has gone in just one day so far this week and she has already been placed in an accommodated classroom with other students with sensory and anxiety issues.  For example, Monday she was just nervous in general after the weekend, she went Tues and Wed there was a substitute teacher so she refused and today she refuses again because she participates in dance classes in the evenings and that is tonight so she says is too stressed about managing upcoming obligations in her schedule like dance and school together.


I can take away her privileges and electronics etc but she doesn't care as long as she doesn't have to go to school.


Over the years, she has been on different anti-anxiety meds and personally, we see an improvement in her involvement in the family, but I don't know how else to address school with her and get her to go.  She says because she is in accommodated class, she knows no one there - but she at 15 yrs has never had a real childhood friend to spend time with out of class.


I may be forgetting some things but any suggestions or similars?

Community Manager

Re: Frustrated over school refusal

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Hey @gdot21 

School refusal can be a huge issue for a lot of families, thank you for sharing what it's been like for you. I'll put a link just here to all of the forum discussion threads around school refusal so you can have a look at other parents experiences.

Apologies if you have already looked into this, but when a young person is refusing to go to school it can be good to check that there isn't something specific going on at school that is making them not want to attend such as bullying. I understand she hasn't really had friends to spend time with, do you feel this has contributed to her not wanting to go to school?

We have an article here about school refusal, it also has a video at the bottom where a parent speaks about her experience with her daughters school refusal. It also has some tips that could be useful to have a look at. I hope some of this is helpful, let us know how you're getting on.