How young is too young

[singersmum]

Hi there,

Its been 7.5 years since my daughters dad died in a motorcycle accident.  She's participated in various levels of counselling, psychology appointments, group therapy etc, but now her anxiety is snowballing, and she has her first psychiatric appointment this week.  At 14.  Since her dad died, she's also lost her aunty in a motorcycle accident, been sexually assaulted on a bus (and won the court case), and lost her grandad to suicide.  She's been there for me whilst I have had breakdowns, she's changed schools numerous times when we've moved due to my mental health.  I just cant help but feel like I've failed her. 

She's a fit and healthy (physically) 14 yo.  She's a good kid, but she is scared now as she can feel her anxiety spiralling.  She is very self aware.  Meditation, rescue remedy, breathing techniques, yoga, good diet, good exercise.  She tries it all.  I'm so worried for her.  I feel so helpless.  What else am I supposed to do?

[Hannah-RO]

Hi @singersmum 

I'm so sorry to hear of all that your family has been through, that is a whole lot of devastating events to experience, I'm sorry you have had to endure so much. 

I am hearing that you're concerned that your daughters anxiety has gotten worse, how is she feeling about her psychiatrist appointment this week? It really shows how deeply you care about your daughters wellbeing that you were able to support her to attend other therapeutic appointments. Did she find any of them helpful that might be worth revisiting?

It's horrible feeling like you've failed someone. From what you've said about her self-awareness and her ability to try lots of different things to look after herself, it sounds like you two have really been there for each other and are helping each other heal. And you posting here looking for support and advice is evidence of how much you love her and are invested in her wellbeing. She is lucky to have you looking out for her and supporting her through everything. 

Another possible option for her to maybe look into if she was interested was getting support online rather than face-to-face, like through Kids Helpline or eHeadspace, she might even want to check out our Youth Forums where she can connect to other young people and talk about what she is going through and feeling. Do you think she might be interested in any of those supports?

I'm also wondering if you wanted to chat about getting support for yourself, its so important to look out for our wellbeing when we're caring for others and you deserve to get support too @singersmum. Is there anything you do to look after yourself?