Lost Momentum

[Birdwings]

I am jumping on tonight to try to get some ideas for a few friends of mine whose young adult have fallen into a hole over the last two years. They were struggling to some extent before covid, but the lockdowns and uncertainty and doing school/uni online have really knocked them about. 

It seems to me that after they take a couple of steps, they gain momentum and make good headway. I guess I'm looking for some ideas to help people make that first step or two. What is a parent to do when their once motivated and intelligent young person grinds to a halt? 

Many thanks,

Birdwings

[Courtney-RO]

Hi @Birdwings thank you for reaching out and sharing with us today!

I'm sorry to hear that your friends are going through so much right now. It can be so hard when previously motivated young people (or any person for that matter) grind to a halt. I'm sure that covid and all the lockdowns, have had a huge impact on this as well. Are your friends and their young adults receiving any additional support? Sometimes having the support of a health professional, whether it be a counsellor or psychologist, can be really helpful in working through such stressful situations.

If you, or your friends, are interested in doing a bit of reading, we do have a couple of articles that could be worth a read. We have an article on How to motivate your teen for school and while it may not be school related, I feel that this article offers some really useful tips that could be used in a number of situations. We also have an article on Supportive parenting, which may also give some ideas on how they can better support their young person.

We would love for you to keep us updated with how everything goes.

[Birdwings]

Thanks for your prompt reply. Some of their young men have had professional intervention, but I'm not sure about all. Not everyone adapted well to online study at either school or uni and discontinued. While they had support networks and community involvement before covid, that seems to have dropped off. It's also hard for young people because their lives are in transition and for many steps like trying to get a job, choose a career path, dating etc are difficult anyway without living in a complicated environment. I'd personally like to see more public awareness and discussion about the difficulties some people are having and we haven't just clicked our fingers and gone back to how it was before. I know I was struggling at the start of the year to get back into some sense of routine and order. Then it dawned on me that I can't go back to where we were. Our "kids" are now two years older. The eldest has left school. We need to start over. There are a few tactics that I'd set up for her older brother in Year 11 before he got derailed but largely we're flying blind. 

Best wishes,

Birdwings

[Sophia-RO]

Hello @Birdwings , it’s great to see you here reaching out for support. I think it shows how much you care about your friends and their children . You sound like a really caring and considerate person. I think you raise some really good points to help put into perspective some of the difficulties that their children are experiencing. Some of which people may not have considered before. I also agree that there have been changes to the way we are now living that are different to what things were like pre-covid. I know of some changes that are for the better though, such as having more flexibility around appointments with health professionals. Hopefully you have also found that there are some positives that have come as a result of these changes too .

You mentioned some difficulties managing getting back into a routine and order, and recognising that your children are not necessarily able to get back to where they were. Have you been able to find any strategies that have helped with managing these changes? Are there any particular strategies that your children have found to be helpful?