My 2 teens told me living that living at home feels like they’re in a prison.

[ceecee101]

My 2 teens told me living that living at home feels like they’re in a prison.
I have a 15yr old Boy and a 16yr old girl.
My boy has been suspended so many times I cannot keep up, my 16yr old is a good girl 2 different children.
My hubby and I are still together and happy and don’t really argue, not alcoholics and don’t do drugs.
We let our children go out to a limit.
Our expectations of our kids are go to school, do your best, do not get into trouble and be a good human, go home and do your homework and chores.
And because my kids need to ask permission to go out, my son has said to me we treat him like a prisoner. And he feels like running away.

I don’t know what to do or say, he said this after I asked him about vaping after I seen a social media video of him vaping and having a gf, him holding her hand.
Am I being to strict?

[Bel_RO]

Hey @ceecee101,

Welcome to ReachOut! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through with the community. I can see that things have been taxing for you and your husband with your 15-year-old boy. I want to start off by acknowledging the effort you have made to set boundaries for your kids. Often setting boundaries can be difficult with teenagers, so you and your husband have done an amazing job! It also sounds like you have a strong and loving relationship with your husband which is wonderful for you and your kids!

Being suspended numerous times would be exhausting for you both. The school can provide support to parents and their teens by sharing strategies and advice, or at times referring them to other services. I am wondering if you are being supported by the school for your 15-year-old boy? I can also hear that you have seen a video online of your 15-year-old vaping and holding hands with a girl. This would be overwhelming to witness and may have also been frustrating for you. I’d like to share these articles on Vaping and Relationships that provide some insight and advice on speaking to your teen about vaping and being in a romantic relationship. If you have a chance to speak to your 15-year-old at another time about this, I encourage you to explore this article on Communication with your Teen and another on Peer pressure. 

It sounds like the comments made by your 15-year-old have made you consider whether or not your boundaries are strict. How you’re feeling in response to this is completely normal and understandable. Sometimes, speaking to others like friends and family can be helpful during times like these. So, I am wondering if you have spoken to any friends or family about your 15-year-old and how you’re feeling? In case you are interested, ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions for parents and carers of young people aged 12-18. 

I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon!