My son and i have a disconnected Relationship

[vidkavoo]

My Son has just turned 18, and I love him with all my heart.

But i don't like his behaviour..it is fairly toxic at home for both of us at the

moment.

long story short, i can be a overbearing mother, and do worry and have always

been on safety.. going out him texting me.. with friends, as he is a only child.

I don't claim to be perfect at all and i have made mistakes as a mum...

He has been this way for the last year, he is agitated at me, raises his voice, 

and is now telling me where to go..Just plain disrespectful

I can see it in hiss eyes he hates me...

It doesn't matter how much i try with my son..and use a different approach 

it is good one day and terrible the next 4

He is trying to push boundaries, and we have rules around the home is is still

in school doing VCE year 12..

I guess i am looking for some advice

[Bel_RO]

Hey @vidkavoo, 

Thank you for joining the community and sharing what you’re going through. I can see that your son’s behaviour has been challenging, with him being disrespectful towards you and agitated by your protectiveness. I want to take a moment here to acknowledge your self-awareness and accountability for wanting to make sure your son is safe, seeing as he is your only child. All parents want to keep their child/children safe, so it’s understandable that you’d like reassurance around where he is. This is completely valid and normal. 

It sounds like wanting to keep your child safe has led to your son becoming agitated with you, trying to push boundaries and rules around the home. I imagine that with your son being in his final year of school, navigating exams might also be a contributing factor to how he has been acting. Speaking to others about your son can be really helpful, so I am interested to know if you’ve spoken to any friends or family about what you’re going through? Sometimes, the school can also be a great support for you and your son and can give you some advice around his behaviours. 

While you are navigating through these challenges, it is important to ensure that you are taking care of yourself as well. I am curious to know how you have been managing your wellbeing during this time? In case you are interested in additional support, ReachOut offers 1:1 parent coaching sessions that are free for parents of young people aged 12-18.

I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon.