Need a female Psychologist for my 12 year old daughter with self harm

[anhminoi]

My 12 year old daughter had self harm behavior after the tragic loss of my husband last year.

My daughter refused to talk to me about this topic and we have never been able to communicate openly on this. She always appear to be cheerful and smiling. But she did self harm out of the blue that I can not foresee. I have tried to hide all the tools she used, but she somehow find other tools to do that. I am devastated and lost. I am so worried and feel helpless.

She is seeing school counsellor at the moment. However, she is graduating her primary school soon and I am desperately looking for a female Psychologist/therapist/counsellor that can help her in the long term. I tried the service of CAFE before, but the counsellor was not successful in creating a connection with my daughter. My daughter refused to go the the CAFE counselling for the second time.

If anyone have a good Psychologist in NSW, please help recommend for me. Many thanks in advance.

[Emily-RO · Accepted solution]

Thank you for sharing this with us @anhminoi 

I'm so sorry to hear that you and your daughter are going through such a difficult time right now. Realising that your child is self-harming can come as a shock. It can help to start with learning what self-harm is and the common reasons for it. Then, you can consider practical first steps and understand what you can do to support your child or another young person who is self-harming. Here is a resource for parents to learn about self-harm.

It can be difficult to understand why your child has resorted to self-harming behaviour, and it’s important to listen and understand rather than judge. Here are some tips for supporting your daughter with self-harm as a parent.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to support your daughter to get professional help. This can help her recognise why she is doing it and learn new skills and behaviours for managing. I'm glad that you are looking for a psychologist. Here is a psychologist search to find local professionals in your area. You can filter for the location, area of speciality, and demographic. The link I have included is for youth and self-harm in NSW.

There are also other options that are online or via phone for you and your daughter.​

• Kids Helpline is free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25.​
• eheadspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 - 25 and their families and friends. 
• Lifeline is a 24/7 crisis support service with phone and chat options.​
• ​There are also our ReachOut Youth Forums where she can find peer support, and our articles about self harm that may help

I also want to check in and make sure that you are also supporting yourself during this difficult time. Do you have any supports for yourself? (e.g. friends, partner, family or professional support). If you would like other supports, I would recommend using Lifeline or eheadspace to seek support for yourself as a parent.

Please note that I have edited your post to remove your location, but you can use the links to search more specifically to your local area. 

[Emily-RO · Accepted solution]

Thank you for sharing this with us @anhminoi 

I'm so sorry to hear that you and your daughter are going through such a difficult time right now. Realising that your child is self-harming can come as a shock. It can help to start with learning what self-harm is and the common reasons for it. Then, you can consider practical first steps and understand what you can do to support your child or another young person who is self-harming. Here is a resource for parents to learn about self-harm.

It can be difficult to understand why your child has resorted to self-harming behaviour, and it’s important to listen and understand rather than judge. Here are some tips for supporting your daughter with self-harm as a parent.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to support your daughter to get professional help. This can help her recognise why she is doing it and learn new skills and behaviours for managing. I'm glad that you are looking for a psychologist. Here is a psychologist search to find local professionals in your area. You can filter for the location, area of speciality, and demographic. The link I have included is for youth and self-harm in NSW.

There are also other options that are online or via phone for you and your daughter.​

• Kids Helpline is free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25.​
• eheadspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 - 25 and their families and friends. 
• Lifeline is a 24/7 crisis support service with phone and chat options.​
• ​There are also our ReachOut Youth Forums where she can find peer support, and our articles about self harm that may help

I also want to check in and make sure that you are also supporting yourself during this difficult time. Do you have any supports for yourself? (e.g. friends, partner, family or professional support). If you would like other supports, I would recommend using Lifeline or eheadspace to seek support for yourself as a parent.

Please note that I have edited your post to remove your location, but you can use the links to search more specifically to your local area.