Need help for my 21 Year Old Daughter

[help1]

Hi Members

My 21 year old daughter will be graduating from Uni soon. She has always been a shy and inward type with very few friends and not very outgoing. From a very young age she has shown unusual behaviour such as rocking while seated, obsessing about the little ball of dirt she has in her fingers, checking doors. She is always afraid of rejection from friends and is scared of making new ones. I have tried many different activities with her such as Dance Classes, Learning to Cycle, Swim, Yoga, house work but she has rejected all of them. Lately she has these thoughts of some links. She panics if she cannot remember them. Yesterday she had a panic attack as she could not remember them. 

Please advise on how to help her. I am too afraid of approaching medical help as I feel the medical fraternity will put her on some drugs and label her. 

[Mona-RO]

Hi @help1 welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing with us. Your daughter is very lucky to have a wonderful mum like you who's so concerned about her. I'm really sorry to hear how she has been suffering, the panic attacks sound awful and it must be so difficult for you to watch her go through this. I understand your hesitancy to approaching medical help. You don't have to go that route right now but I would encourage you to maybe talk to more parents here about the help they've gotten for their kids in similar situation and how it went for them. 

It sounds like despite her challenges with social activities, your daughter has been successful academically which is huge and shows resilience. You can suggest her to join the ReachOut youth forum (it's for under 25 year olds). There are lots of great members there who talk and support each other about whatever they're going through. It could be a good starting point for her to begin talking to her peers in a safe, confidential setting.

Hopefully more parents will share their experiences here as well. You're doing a great job, please hang in there. 

[Shaq07]

My daughter was 14 when I sought medical help for my daughter who was suffering anxiety and a number of the issues that you described of your daughter. Her rocking has always been her soothing action. Today she would not drink orange juice because it had pulp in it and left one piece of chicken because it looked strange. She saw a psychologist who diagnosed her ASD (autism spectrum disorder). Yes I know a label. She has not taken medication but instead with the help of her psychologist has been able to understand why she feels the way she does and strategies to manage her anxiety and how to interact with people and now has friends and maintains friends and accepts what people think about her as she is a little different but there is nothing wrong with that. She is now 18 at uni and has a part time job, goes out occasionally and plays sport. Getting some help to recognise and manage panic attacks and anxiety would be beneficial.

[help1]

Thanks for your encouragement and advise. I am looking for ways to help her interact with other adults her age. We tries one site but most of the groups are for more matured age adults. I would like her to pair with someone her age who can understand her shyness and accept as friend. She is a very clever girl no doubt but her anxiety takes her back from achieving her potential both socially and career wise.

[taokat]

Hi @help1, I just wanted to check in and see how have things been with your daughter since you posted? (No biggie, but I've just edited out the website you mentioned in keeping in line with the guidelines.)

The ReachOut Youth forum that @Mona-RO mentioned, I agree would be an ideal place for your daughter to talk to others that she can relate to and feel a connection with. Do you know if she's checked it out at all?

What sorts of things does your daughter enjoy doing? You could maybe have a chat with her and nut it down to a couple of her favourite things then google and see what social groups there are. 

Thank you for sharing your experiences @Shaq07. As you say, your daughter still has a diagnosis, but is managing with psychological support which I hope gives you @help1 a little peace of mind that medication isn't always the only option. And that's awesome for your daughter too by the way @Shaq07!

I hope you don't mind but I've moved your post it to where I hope you'll get more exposure to our parent community