Hi @Jo-Anne this is a heart breaking situation for you and must be taking every ounce of strength to stay strong for your daughter. You are obviously a very caring mother that she trusts you enough to tell you about self-harming. I'm sorry the change to the new school did not have a long-lasting positive impact but doing that built her trust in you more. Please know that you are doing your best and the unconditional love you give to your daughter really matters a huge deal.   We have a fact sheet on some ways you might be able to  help your daughter manage self-harming behaviour  that might be helpful. You can also tell her about the Youth forum where she can chat with her peers who are going through similar struggles.   ReachOut also offers free coaching to help parents support our teens through tough times. It's very flexible and can give you some ideas that you can implement right away. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in you can find out more and register here.    We have other parents here who have been in the same situation as you and I'm sure they will provide advice and support about this matter as well.    Please keep us updated on how you are doing.   Take lots of care. ... View more

Hi @Skye33 thanks for sharing your situation with us. I felt heartbroken as I went through your post. You must be going through such an incredibly difficult time. It's wonderful that you have reached out here to find support.    Your son sounds like a wonderful person who is really struggling with anxiety and depression. It's not uncommon to see really bright individuals struggle with these issues. He also sounds like he has enormous promise and potential.   It's unfortunate he finds therapy a waste of time but I can understand why that might be if it hasn't really worked for him or if he hasn't found a therapist that he has clicked well with. Has he tried Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)? This kind of therapy is quite precise and is about learning to challenge negative thoughts.It's short-term and goal oriented.Here is a link explaining it in better detail:   https://au.reachout.com/articles/cognitive-behavioural-therapy   Do you think your son might be open to this of therapy?   I think it's great you give him so many wonderful suggestions on activities he could do. It's hard to find the enthusiasm for anything when you're riddled with anxiety. That said, every bit of effort counts.    I hope other parents on this site can provide their input on this. Take care of yourself.         ... View more

Hi @sandrae that's a very tough thing for your daughter to be going through. It sounds like your daughter and her friends have grown apart. Sometimes when one person in a group starts to grow in their own way (like your daughter has by taking on additional responsibility as a prefect and head of dance committee and emotionally by being in a steady relationship), the dynamics change and things are not the same as before. Of course it's easier to intellectualise this. The actual experience of breaking down of long-term friendships is very painful, especially when done in an unkind way.   It's important for your daughter to know this isn't her fault and that she is supported by her parents. If she's upset about what's happening at school, sometimes it's good to just listen without trying to find a solution right then. These situations are really hard to fix. Maybe your daughter can gradually find new friendships through other hobbies and activities. She may even find that she has more in common with these new friends. This takes time though. Are you open to her talking to a counselor to help her transition to a new chapter in her life? It might be helpful for her to get extra support that will equip her with coping skills and strategies when she goes for further studies in a new environment (if that's the plan for her).    Are there other people she can hang out with while she's away at the rage? Is she friendly with other kids who may not be very close to her but ones she can get along with, at least for the week while she's away? ... View more

Hey @littlecore that's a really hard situation to be going through - and heartbreaking. It sounds like you've done the right things to discourage him from stealing from you but it looks like this is a bad habit he's finding hard to kick. Seeing a psychologist would be a good step in understanding and resolving the reasons for this behaviour.    Have you asked him why he feels the need to steal money from his family members? Sometimes understanding the core reason for a certain behaviour can help with coming up with the right solution.   ... View more

Hey @Norakirk0213 welcome to Reach Out and thanks for sharing your situation here. I can see how challenging it is for you to feel like you're raising your stepson full time, whereas before you saw him only every other weekend. It's even more difficult because his bio mom doesn't see him and on top of that, your husband works long hours. I also feel for your step son, having gone through some difficult situations in his life already. I think it's commendable that you want to protect him from the negativity you experience.    Have you discussed your feelings about all of this with your husband? Maybe before you do that, you can try and identify what your needs are at the moment (in relation to parenting your stepson). Do you need some time to yourself? Do you need for your stepson's dad to be there more than he currently is?    There are some parenting-related resources that you can look into (in addition to ReachOut Parents resources):   Parentline https://www.parentline.com.au/ 1300 30 1300 Raising Children http://raisingchildren.net.au/ Sharing here on RO is a great step, sometimes talking about the things that are weighing us down can help us feel heard and 'lighter'. So please, continue to share here. ... View more

Hi @Elisha welcome to ReachOut. How old is the child and how long have they been away from their mother? Do you know the reasons for why they ran away? ... View more

I think you may have to focus on your concern about her videos getting in the wrong hands and that childbirth is a grownup thing to do. Just from my personal point of view, while it may be okay for some children in tribal cultures to watch childbirth, it's not very common in other parts of the world so it makes sense you're uncomfortable with the situation. Clearly she does have a good sense of this not being common because she has not shared it with her friends. The conversation will be uncomfortable but the focus is on her wellbeing. You're not judging or punishing her. ... View more

Hi @Memoryschild welcome to ReachOut! It's hard to assess whether your 12 year old's obsession with babies and child birth is 'normal' or not but the great thing is that you are both very open with each other. It seems like it's the foremost topic on her mind. Is she interested in other things or has other hobbies?   The one thing that got me worried was the video you found of her (the danger of it getting in the wrong hands). Maybe you could gently explain to her your worries of the video not remaining private and that you're very concerned for her safety. If you've already had a talk to her about pornography, there's a chance she'll understand your concerns.  ... View more

Hi @Jensen10 I'm really sorry you're going through such a difficult time. It breaks my heart to see how this is making you feel. You have to know you're a good mother, someone who's doing her very best to get her son the support he needs. I'm sorry it has been challenging dealing with NDIS. Sometimes the bureaucracy of big organisations can be very difficult to deal with. Hopefully it won't be too long before you start getting the NDIS support. It sounds like you got approved which is great, congratulations for making it through that.   How are you looking after yourself during this time? Do you have any supports around you?  ... View more

Hi @help1 welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing with us. Your daughter is very lucky to have a wonderful mum like you who's so concerned about her. I'm really sorry to hear how she has been suffering, the panic attacks sound awful and it must be so difficult for you to watch her go through this. I understand your hesitancy to approaching medical help. You don't have to go that route right now but I would encourage you to maybe talk to more parents here about the help they've gotten for their kids in similar situation and how it went for them.    It sounds like despite her challenges with social activities, your daughter has been successful academically which is huge and shows resilience. You can suggest her to join the ReachOut youth forum (it's for under 25 year olds). There are lots of great members there who talk and support each other about whatever they're going through. It could be a good starting point for her to begin talking to her peers in a safe, confidential setting.   Hopefully more parents will share their experiences here as well. You're doing a great job, please hang in there.  ... View more

@Beingme2017 hmm it's a tricky one isn't it? It's so great though that you do find your daughter trustworthy. It sounds like the discomfort you're feeling is about your idea of what is appropriate and what's not in general - and not about your daughter in particular. Correct me if I'm wrong.   How would it be if you told her this, that while you do trust her, this is about your views and what you're comfortable with and you'd like to have certain rules/boundaries (as @TOM-RO said) in your home. If you let her know this isn't personal, maybe she'll see your point of view?      ... View more

Hi @Beingme2017 this may seem like an obvious question but what was your reaction to your daughter when she said she wants to have the door shut? I'm wondering where the conversation ended at? ... View more

Hi @motherbear I'm just wondering if you are able to edit your posts? If so, maybe one solution for now could be to just remove the content from the post and leaving it blank? ... View more

Hi @Zoesplace I can understand your concern for your daughter in this situation. It's a bit tricky for a few reasons, one of which being both your daughter and her boyfriend have mental health issues. In that scenario, it can be very difficult to distinguish from what is 'workable' and what isn't. A big concern is that her boyfriend isn't getting the help he needs for his issues.    I'm not sure how your relationship is like with your daughter currently. It sounds like you are able to talk to her which is great!   Your daughter is getting some core needs of affection and positive reinforcement met through this relationship (when she isn't unhappy with him). She will benefit from continuing to get that from you, her parents as well. By pointing out how the relationship isn't right for her and her boyfriend's flaws (even if done subtly), will quite likely make the relationship and boyfriend even more appealing. The only thing you have control over is your interaction with her. Engaging in a loving, positive manner with her and encouraging her to get involved in her passions and hobbies (or trying something new if she's already pretty involved in some activities) will maybe help her see that she has support and love in her life other than the romantic relationship she's in. What do you think?   ... View more

Hi @LovingThruBlue I've been following a vegan diet myself for over a year now and I know quite a few others who chose to become vegetarian at a very young age (some as young as 5 years old). The good news is, they're very healthy adults :)    Vegetarian cooking doesn't have to be a big endeavour. Most recipes can be easily adjusted for vegetarian diet. What kind of things do you typically cook at home, that are easy for you to make? Maybe we can provide some suggestions around that. Hopefully some other parents on the forum will have tips as well.   As for nutrition, she should be okay overall if she's eating enough whole foods. Taking iron and b12 supplements would be a good idea. It might also be good to have a visit to a doctor or nutritionist who understand vegetarian diet.   People in some parts of the world have been exclusively eating vegetarian food for thousands of years which shows it's definitely possible to have a healthy lifestyle with this kind of diet. Some of my favourite vegetarian/vegan websites and blogs are:    www.ohsheglows.com www.veganricha.com/ minimalistbaker.com/ (uses 10 ingredients or less)   I also just found this:   https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/quick-veggie   Do you think your daughter might be interested in taking up cooking herself?  ... View more

@Maxnochar4612 I don't know if being diagnosed with Tics could have something to do with this. Have you spoken to his GP about this? Maybe they have an opinion.  If your son is insisting there is nothing unusual happening with him at school and friends then I guess you'll have to take his word for it. The important thing would be to keep the communication lines open so if something does happen or if he wants to talk about an existing matter, then he would feel comfortable doing so.    His behaviour could be simply part of going through adolescence. Other factors like not enough sleep, exercise, virtual distractions, school pressure etc could be contributing to this. I think if his behaviour gets worse or harder for you to handle, then talking to a GP would be beneficial? Also, check out the Coaching link in my earlier post and see if it's worth having a look :) ... View more

Hi @Maxnochar4612 welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your situation with us. It sounds like it has been pretty tough for you and your family to deal with. Ignoring aggressive behaviour is really hard and not a long-term solution. I'm glad you're here and hopefully other members will also pitch in - lots of parents here have/are going through the same situation as you. I guess the good thing is that your son is able to get through his angry phase relatively quickly but then he doesn't understand why it was upsetting for others. It sounds like for him, that's just how he is. How long has he been acting this way? Did something change gradually over time? I'm wondering if there's something going on with him (at school, friends etc).     You might want to consider the ReachOut Parents Coaching. It's free, online and run by professionals from The Benevolent Society. TBS have been running this face to face for years and it's resulted in a great number of parents feeling more connected to their teenager. ReachOut have partnered with them so it can be offerred to parents Australia wide. If you click here you can check it out and see what you think.    Hope to hear more from you and others on this post. Hang in there! ... View more

@Lily17 a win for a few hours is something to cheer for! I love how you handled the whole situation, from asking her to pitch in to helping bring the wall down together and validating her. Awesome. I hope the rest of the day has been coasting on that good early momentum :) ... View more

Hi @motherbear,    @taokat has provided a great explanation of how to insert hyperlinks. I'm pasting a screenshot with a red box around the 'link' icon. Highlight the text in your post you want to hyperlink and click on the icon to type in the URL (as shown in the other screenshot). Hope this helps :)     ... View more

Hi @momof1teen thanks for sharing here today. We are really glad you've reached out here. Hopefully you will find the support you need in this parent's community.   I can hear your pain about the situation with your teenager. 15 is a very tumultuous time (as I'm sure many other parents will testify). There's unconscious grief about letting go of being a child and taking on the role of an emerging adult. I'm sorry your daughter's email to you hurt you. One positive is that she has opened up and it's great you weren't defensive and that you did not take on everything she said to you. As you said, she must be in pain herself. Do you have any idea about what might be going on for her? Or is it an accumulation over the years? Are you or her seeing a therapist individually?   You might want to consider the ReachOut Parents Coaching. It's free, online and run by professionals from The Benevolent Society. You can focus of specific concerns, like managing your daughter's behaviour at the same time as you improve your communication skills.   ReachOut also has some advice on family conflict and you can take a look at that too.   Hope to keep hearing from you here. Please hang in there and know that you are not alone.   Mona-RO   ... View more

Hi @Bigash thanks for sharing your situation with us. It sounds quite distressing and I would like to rephrase the situation just to make sure we are understanding it correctly: you are worried about your partner's children as you believe they are being mentally and physically abused by your partner's ex-partner's parents. Is that correct? Also, what are the ages of the children?   If you strongly suspect they are experiencing violence in their home (and you do believe this), then there are organisations you must contact and they will help you through this situation:   - Your local police. If you suspect child abuse you contact police and they can shed light on this matter.   - Depending on the State/Territory you're in, you can call the relevant Child Protection authorities. Here's a website that has links to each State/Territory's contact organisation:   https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/reporting-abuse-and-neglect   - The Child Wise National Child Abuse Helpline (Monday to Friday) 1800 99 10 99. According to their website: "The Child Wise National Child Abuse Helpline is a toll-free  number providing Australians with access to expert advice from trained counsellors and an opportunity to speak up about child abuse."   - Lifeline 13 11 14 - they are available 24/7 so you can talk to a counsellor right away.   This is a terrible situation and I am really sorry for the pain you and your partner must be experiencing. Perhaps you feel helpless but please know that there are resources and experts who can guide you through this. To begin with, they can help you have a conversation with the children to find out more about what is going on.    Please hang in there and keep us updated on this.    Mona-RO ... View more

Hi @motherbear sorry you had difficulty in posting! I'm not sure why you got the message that your post is pending approval... again, apologies and thanks for re-writing your thoughtful response. Forum users can edit but not delete posts. Did you want a specific post moved out of this thread? ... View more

@jdbza thanks for giving us an update. The new development in this situation sounds really challenging. It's tough because you have a strong hunch that your sister may not be telling the truth and I'm guessing you are not able to challenge her either - not at this point anyway. How are you coping with this new possibility? I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.   When are you seeing your psychologist next? A session could also offer potential solutions to this dilemma.   Please take care of yourself and keep us updated. ... View more

Hi @Concerned welcome to RO! Thanks for taking the first step to share with us. Can you please tell us a bit more detail about what you and your daugther are going through? That way we can better understand your situation and provide the right kind of support. Thanks :) ... View more

@Stephs_Mum thanks for sharing this. Reading about your experience really helped me understand a parent's pov and an appreciation for just how challenging it can be. @HalleysComet's advice was so helpful and spot on. I agree that without self-care, it's next to impossible to take on life's challenges without getting doubly frustrated. Please don't feel bad for sharing your situation! This community is precisely so parents can come here and support one another :)   Glad to hear about the GP appointment to get a referral and for getting more sleep! ... View more