Need to prevent my 15 year old getting worse

[Mrsemgr]

Is there somewhere in WA that you can enrol a 15 year old, to help them get back on track. My 15 year old started bad behaviour this year and it has gotten to the point that he has ran away for over a week now. I believe the mother of the friend he is staying with is lying about him being there as I've seen photos but the police can't do much about it as he is contacting me saying he is safe. He didn't go to school for the last week and has failed his math and English so Vet and tafe are no longer an option. I am lost as to what to do next

[Blake-RO]

Hey @Mrsemgr 

Thank you for reaching out and for sharing this with us. It sounds like it has been a very difficult time for you and it is understandable how concerning this must be for you. I can tell how much you care about your son and want the best for him and he is lucky to have you.

I was wondering whether your son has been seeing anyone, either a school counsellor, GP or mental health professional? If not, is this something you would consider? If you have a GP or family doctor, they can be great to speak to about this and can provide additional referrals if needed.

I know that you mentioned that your son hasn’t been attending school and has failed maths and English which is a requirement for vet and tafe. Does this mean that he will be returning to school next year? If so, are you able to speak to the school next year and ask them for some support?

I also know that you mentioned that he hasn’t been home for over a week now but has still been contacting you, are you still in contact with him and know if he is safe? I can only imagine how extremely difficult this must be for you and to be unsure about where and who he is with.

It sounds like his behaviour has been an ongoing concern for you this year, I was wondering if you have been able to speak to your him about this, or been able to express your concerns with him? We have some really great articles and tips on building effective communications and trust with teenagers that may be helpful to have a look through.

We also have a free one-on-one coaching service where you can speak to and get some support from a professional family and parenting coach.  

It is understandable how difficult this must be for you, and how concerned you must be. Do you have any support with this or have you been able to speak to anyone about this, whether it’s a friend, family member, GP or mental health professional? Remember that your wellbeing is just as important!

Remember that we are all here for you.

[Mrsemgr]

Thank you for your reply Natalie.
In the middle of this year I reached out to the school when I noticed his grades were dropping. They couldn't force him to speak to the Chaplin or counsellor at the school but the year coordinator spoke with him many times. Unfortunately my son started mimicking his new girlfriends behaviour as she has ODD and the school gave him the idea to use mental health as an excuse to do the wrong thing and walk out of class whenever he wanted. He has been contacting me every few days while he has been away to let me know he is safe but now that I have seen photos of him in his gfs friends room (who are 14!) With a half a bottle of jack daniels and the mum telling me he isnt there and she hasn't seen him has me concerned if he is actually safe or not.
This house has no boundaries and is the reason he isnt coming home

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Mrsemgr,

Thank you for your reply. It is great to hear that you tried to seek support from the school, even though it doesn't seem like it was particularly helpful. It must be really difficult for you to be in this situation - you must be feeling so worried and powerless. You mentioned having concerns about whether your son is safe or not due to conflicting information, would you report these concerns to the police? I know that you said there wasn't a lot they could do, though I wondered if you had included this specific information?

Although it is difficult, the fact that your son is communicating with you is a silver lining. Hopefully if he feels uncomfortable or unsafe, he will be able to contact you for support or to come home. I imagine this does little to ease how you are feeling and understandably so. I hope you're able to find a way to take care of yourself throughout this, by implementing self care or seeking support from friends, family or professionals. If you need any suggestions, we're happy to help.

[jayson1]

Hi sorry to hear about the traumatic experience you guys faced. If you’re having difficulty see a child behavior specialist or seek therapy from a child psychologist.

[Dem--RO]

Hi @jayson1,

Thank you for being such a supportive part of the Community 

We just wanted to let you know that we had to make a small edit to your post to keep it within our Community Guidelines