Online grooming

[Mortil2]

I’m worried my 16yr old daughter is being groomed online. I know about it from reading her diary so if I confront her I will lose her trust because I looked in her diary. She recently got diagnosed with ASD but high functioning. Due to this she has been under Camhs for about 3yrs before she got diagnosed. We have had many open discussions about her mental health and I thought we had quite an open honest relationship and I'm very reluctant to lose her trust, but this is different, she is hiding a particular relationship she has with someone online. I confronted her with something I found lying around but not the full details from her diary . She says she knows what she is doing, has safe boundaries, it’s all online and she’s 16 and “legal” . From her diary though, it seems she is planning to meet up with this person; I believe it’s an adult. What do I do? Do I confront her risking she will never forgive me, or keep aware and hope she doesn’t go through with it? She‘a planning to use a friend as an excuse when this meeting is supposed to take place, and we normally drive her everywhere, so I feel I know where she is - as much as you can a 16yr old! Any advice or anyone in same situation? Thanks in advance

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Mortil2, thanks for sharing that experience here with us, I imagine that must have been very difficult for you to do. It is such a tricky question with no right answer. It is really great that you have reached out for some support. The points you have raised are really important - you want to protect her safety without breaching her trust. Is it possible you could have a general conversation about online relationships and meeting up.. without mentioning that you have read her diary. Have you thought about talking to CAMHS about this situation? Or another health professional?

You are most welcome on our forums, though our resources and referrals are specific to Australia. We noticed you are in another country so unfortunately we don't have any specific suggestions. Do you have a service that is a hotline for parents? Either way, hopefully some members of our community lend some support here soon

Please keep us updated.

[Mortil2]

Thanks for your reply. I have thought about speaking to her Camhs counsellor, that might be my next step to be honest. We have talked lots about online safety, as they do at school as well, and she is very aware of the dangers, red flags etc. She's really quite switched on which is partly why I hope she might come to the right decision herself.... I will bring it up again with her in general terms I think and just keep a very close eye on her. Thanks again for your reply

[Teen15]

Hi. Can you track her phone?

[Mortil2]

No she has turned the tracking off...

[JAKGR8]

Oh no how scary for you. I haven't much time but are you aware of the Carly Ryan Foundation?
https://carlyryanfoundation.com/what-we-do