Out of control teenager

[Cillz]

My 14 year old, has been so angry and doesn't do anything I say. Having problems getting him to school wants to hit everyone and verbal abuse me and his younger brother, it's always fighting in my house.
2 years ago my ex husband left Australia and moved back to nz, our marriage fell apart in 2017 due verbal abuse. I have the kids full time. But it has been so hard to do anything with my 14 year old cause all he wants to do is go on gaming. I just don't know what to do with him ?

[Iona_RO]

Hi @Cillz 

Thanks for sharing what you're going through at the moment. I can imagine trying to support a teen who is being abusive must be really distressing. I'm wondering if he has any other supports in place at the moment? A school counsellor or a medical professional perhaps?

You mentioned that your son is physically and verbally abusive to you and your younger son, I'm wondering if it might be helpful to chat to someone at 1800RESPECT to get some support with this and help keep you all safe.

With all this going on, it's important to look after your own wellbeing too, do you have any friends or family to chat to? Do you think talking to a counsellor would be helpful?

[Cillz]

He has a school counsellor at school but he won't go to see her. Keep saying he is fine but I know he isn't.
Yes I have heaps of people to talk to about this.
He has said to me that he has a anger problem but he won't see someone about it.
Not sure how to start getting help for him.

[Bre-RO]

Hi @Cillz thank you for opening up some more about what's happening for your family at the moment. I can imagine how stressful it must be for you trying to get your son some help when he doesn't want to see a counsellor. 

Although he isn't ready to talk to someone about the anger issues, it's promising that he is self-aware and has a parent like yourself who cares deeply about his wellbeing. 

I'm glad you've got heaps of people to talk to about this - have any of your support people made suggestions about how to cope with this? 

I'm not sure if this is something you'd be interested in, but we have some resources about anger and teenagers and also getting help for teenagers.