Step son- step mum

[Dad2021]

My wife and I are having issues with our 6 year old (my son). He lives with us full time- doesn’t see his mother as she lives in New Zealand and calls him every 2nd weekend. Last year was a tough year for everyone no doubt him as well this seems to be when issues became more frequent.
Is it just:
Him starting school
Only going to school a couple of days a weeks
Stopping school
Home schooling
Us having to leave him for a few weeks (the new baby was 9 weeks perm and we had to be in melbourne)
Easter my wife stayed in Melbourne to continue care for our new born.
Going back to school
His step mum being at home with his brother while he goes to school
Not getting attention he use to
I started new job in amongst this were I leave early in the morning and don’t see anyone until the get home.
My wife and I decided to try to have a child together so now we have a 9 month old (ours), 6 year old (mine) and 14 year old (hers) just another Brady bunch. We treat the 3 all the same as if they were ours!
My wife and sons relationship was good but now he is causing my wife who is normally a very bubbly and happy person to feel anxious, stressed and unhappy.
She constantly asks what are we going to to do? My response is I don’t know what you want to do.
We have tried discipline- he doesn’t care, taking this away- he doesn’t care, missing out on things- he doesn’t care.
He has seen a psychologist which helped identify issues from his past. A GP has recommended with see a paediatric doctor for potential autism.
Is there any other services to tap into or any other suggestions from other parents with similar issues.

[Sophia-RO · Accepted solution]

Hello @Dad2021 , sorry to hear that you and your wife have been experiencing some troubles with your son lately. It sounds like things have been hard for you and your family and that the tough times have been stressful for your wife. You have both been so supportive of your son already as you have already arranged for your son to get support from some professionals, which is so great. I am wondering if you have had the chance to talk with your son about the behaviour that he is doing to try and get some further understanding around why he is doing it? I understand that it might be hard to try and have this type of discussion with a young child, but understanding the reasons behind his behaviour (e.g. is it for attention or is he distressed?) would be really useful when trying to resolve any problems. 

It sounds like both you and your wife have been going through some big changes lately, so I am wondering if you have any supports around you that you can turn to when things get tough? Parentline is a free and confidential counselling service for parents to use when they are wanting to talk to a professional about some of their parenting concerns or for parenting advice. You might find that talking to a counsellor about what you and your wife are going through to be quite helpful. Hope this helps! 

[Sophia-RO · Accepted solution]

Hello @Dad2021 , sorry to hear that you and your wife have been experiencing some troubles with your son lately. It sounds like things have been hard for you and your family and that the tough times have been stressful for your wife. You have both been so supportive of your son already as you have already arranged for your son to get support from some professionals, which is so great. I am wondering if you have had the chance to talk with your son about the behaviour that he is doing to try and get some further understanding around why he is doing it? I understand that it might be hard to try and have this type of discussion with a young child, but understanding the reasons behind his behaviour (e.g. is it for attention or is he distressed?) would be really useful when trying to resolve any problems. 

It sounds like both you and your wife have been going through some big changes lately, so I am wondering if you have any supports around you that you can turn to when things get tough? Parentline is a free and confidential counselling service for parents to use when they are wanting to talk to a professional about some of their parenting concerns or for parenting advice. You might find that talking to a counsellor about what you and your wife are going through to be quite helpful. Hope this helps!