Support young adult son

[Malena]

I am looking for advice. My son is in his 3rd year of university. He has  been getting high marks for the past two years and working really really hard. he is about to throw this away as he says he is not interested in the degree. What advice should I give him? I am very concerned. I don't want him to make the wrong decision but also I want him to choose something to make his happy and accomplished. Is its just a burnout as he has not had proper holidays since finishing high school. I need help please! 

[Iona_RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Malena 

Welcome to the online community! It's clear from your post that you really care about your son and his future, which is really lovely to see.

Has your son talked to you much about his reasons for deciding not to continue with his degree? Deciding to leave uni to persue another path isn't too unusal, so your son isn't alone in that. If he feels like university isn't the best option for him at the moment, there are lots of different avenues he can explore. It can be really diffcult to figure out who you are and what you want from life at that age, sometimes it can take a few times to find the right fit. He might like to check out this careers support service to get more information or talk to a careers specialist.

You've mentioned that he is also feeling burntout, does he have any supports with this? You might like to share this article on burnout with him too.

It sounds like this is also a stressful time for you, have you been able to spend some time looking after your own wellbeing recently as well?

[murphysmith · Accepted solution]

It sounds like you are concerned about your son's current situation and want to offer him advice regarding his academic pursuits. You can help him with given suggestion: 

Talk openly with your son about his feelings towards his current degree program. It is important to understand why he feels disinterested and if there is any underlying cause for his lack of motivation.

Encourage him to explore his options and find something that truly interests him. It may be helpful for him to speak with academic advisors or career counselors to help him identify potential career paths that align with his passions and strengths.

Encourage him to take a break and recharge. Burnout can be a real issue for many students, and taking time off to rest and recharge may help him regain his motivation and passion for his academic pursuits. If You think he is depressed you may book a psychologist for help.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with his current degree program or pursue something different is up to your son.

[Iona_RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Malena 

Welcome to the online community! It's clear from your post that you really care about your son and his future, which is really lovely to see.

Has your son talked to you much about his reasons for deciding not to continue with his degree? Deciding to leave uni to persue another path isn't too unusal, so your son isn't alone in that. If he feels like university isn't the best option for him at the moment, there are lots of different avenues he can explore. It can be really diffcult to figure out who you are and what you want from life at that age, sometimes it can take a few times to find the right fit. He might like to check out this careers support service to get more information or talk to a careers specialist.

You've mentioned that he is also feeling burntout, does he have any supports with this? You might like to share this article on burnout with him too.

It sounds like this is also a stressful time for you, have you been able to spend some time looking after your own wellbeing recently as well?

[murphysmith · Accepted solution]

It sounds like you are concerned about your son's current situation and want to offer him advice regarding his academic pursuits. You can help him with given suggestion: 

Talk openly with your son about his feelings towards his current degree program. It is important to understand why he feels disinterested and if there is any underlying cause for his lack of motivation.

Encourage him to explore his options and find something that truly interests him. It may be helpful for him to speak with academic advisors or career counselors to help him identify potential career paths that align with his passions and strengths.

Encourage him to take a break and recharge. Burnout can be a real issue for many students, and taking time off to rest and recharge may help him regain his motivation and passion for his academic pursuits. If You think he is depressed you may book a psychologist for help.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with his current degree program or pursue something different is up to your son.

[Birdwings]

Hi Malena,

Being a parent can be so challenging when they're going through trying times and it's hard to know how to respond. 

Choosing a career and investing all that time and money into a degree is a huge decision, and it might just be that he's revisiting that with fresh eyes and needs to re-evaluate why he's doing that course and the career path ahead. On the other hand, he might feel he understand himself better now and that he's not suited to this career. 

My son's school career adviser put me onto the VIA SUrvey and it looks at your strengths and interests and I found it quite helpful. Here's the link: https://www.viacharacter.org/

She also gave me some booklets which came with it and they explained how your strength also could have downsides as well. Say someone who is curious can also become nosey. Here's the link: https://www.viacharacter.org/

I also think it's worth factoring in how disrupted things have been for our young people over the last three years and so many of us have had a rethink. 

I hope that helps.

Best wishes,

Birdwings

[Malena]

Hello,

Thank you for your advice and reaching to me.

I have talked with my son and he has contacted support system @ the University and his school career adviser and have received very helpful information's. he is now much happier and is pursuing his degree.

Really appreciate your email.

many thanks

M

[Birdwings]

That's great news.

Best wishes,

Birdwings

[Malena]

Hi Iona_RO,

Thank you for your response. Things got much better. We've had few chats since then and I offered my advice and support whatever my son decides to do. I encouraged him to reach out to his careers support adviser, which he has, and I think it gave him more clarity. He has partially switched his degree and is much happier now. 

Thanka again