TW: Abusive17yodaughter

[Tiredabusedmom]

Hello I am so upset.. my 17 yo daughter mentally and verbally abuses me all the time. Whenever she doesnt get her way its awful. She blames me for anything and everything.. she lies to her friends about me. Last year she tried to take her life because i found booze in her closet and dumped it.. she came at me hurting me. All i did was try and restrain her and to krep her from hurtimg me more. The next day she tried to take her life .. she tkld the hospital rhat that it was my fault. She had a couple little marks. Thr hospital turned me in for abuse. It was unfounded. My kid tries to tell me what to do she lies about me to her friends she calls me names says im a pirce of **bleep** mom and that ive done nothing for her. She gets in my face yells and screams at me. If she doesnt get her way she is more abusive. I dont know what to do anymore


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[Adam-R0]

Hi @Tiredabusedmom ,

Just a quick heads up I moved your post to a more appropriate sub-forum section.

I just want to say that it really sounds like a difficult time that you've been experiencing. That type of abuse that you've talked about is never okay. I can't imagine how complex and intense that situation you described was for you. 

I want to check in with what's happening for you now. You mentioned that hospital experience was last year. What's going on now in your relationship with your daughter? I can understand you're reaching out and assume things haven't gotten any better. Does your daughter have any professional supports? Or better yet, is anyone else supporting you while trying to navigate this situation?

In this situation, it's important to recognise that you are only in control of yourself and your actions. In saying that, identifiying what your boundaries are when it comes to communicating with your daughter is also something to consider. Have you found if there are any strategies that are helpful or have worked in the past both in mediating your communication with your daughter and in helping you with alleviating the stress-load?

I can't say I know from personal experience what you're going through, but I really want to send through my empathy for your difficult struggle. 

[Tiredabusedmom]

My daughter is still abusive she doesnt like to be told no. She threatened to take her life again to me and her siblings. Then told the judgr that she didnt mean it she was mad. So i cant gdt her committed. And i have noone but my kids. My parents let her do whatever she wants .

[Philippa-RO]

@Tiredabusedmom it sounds like you've been really going through a really stressful time.

I wanted to let you know we have edited some parts of your post in accordance with our community guidelines.

Can I ask if your daughter is currently living with you and your other children?
Similarly to Adam-RO, I'm wondering if you or your daughter could potentially access some professional supports? For example, do you think she would be open to maybe seeing an individual or family counsellor? Alternatively, are there any support services you could access? 

I hear you when you say you feel your parents aren't helpful in the way they relate to your daughter, and I'm wondering if there are any other adults your daughter trusts (eg. a relative, friend or teacher) who might be able to take a mentoring or supportive role, so some of the pressure can come off you?

I know as a parent to teens myself, at times other adults can have more impact, and their role can be helpful. 

I really feel for your family as this is a lot to manage and I hope you can get the support you need.

I also wanted to let you know we're going to email you, so please look out for that.