TW: My 14 yr old daughter has started to self-harm 😭

[Mumofteen14]

Hi, this is my first time here so I’m not 💯 sure how this works really.

But tonight my 14 ur old daughter came to me crying and told me she has been cutting herself.
My first reaction was, how did I miss this? My daughter and I have always been really close we literally talk about everything.
Second thought was complete and utter devastation, I just felt like crying and holding her.
But I’ll pulled myself together and calmly asked her what had brought this on and how long was she feeling like this?
While I tended to her injuries which were not serious.
( thankfully they weren’t)

Now a little back story my child has suffered from really bad anxiety for a few years now and we did attend appointments with headspace but then this year my daughter had seemed to get better and requested to end her sessions and even her counsellor said we could stop the sessions.

Obviously everything was not ok but my daughter was able to hide it from me and everyone else.

I’m hoping for some advice on how to continue and help her as much as I can.

I have made an appointment with our GP to get a referral to see a psychologist as soon as possible.

What else can I do????

[Bre-RO]

Hi, there @Mumofteen14 how are you after last night? I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is hurting, I can imagine how devastated you must be feeling right now. 

I must acknowledge how supportive, proactive and considerate your approach was last night. You have clearly nurtured an honest and safe relationship with your daughter, and the fact that she comes to you (though it might take her some time) is a testament to that. One of the most protective factors for a young person struggling is an adult who loves them the way you love your daughter. 

It's good to hear you've booked an appointment with a GP. I'm not sure if you have a preferred counsellor/therapist, but I thought it might be helpful to share this search engine where you can find a suitable match. Another option is to get back in touch with Headspace and see if you can see the same therapist (if your daughter got along with them). In terms of professional support, you could also explore things like support groups for young people struggling with anxiety. The Black Dog Foundation has information on support groups here.

We also have some resources about self-harm and teenagers with a section about managing self-harm, too. So when you have some time, there's heaps of helpful stuff in there. 

I'm curious to know if there's an activity or hobby both you and your daughter enjoy together? It might be nice to spend some quality time together doing things that make you feel good at such a stressful time for you both. 

Let us know what you think of those resources and if there's anything we can do to support your family at the moment. Hope to hear back from you soon! 

Also, just need to let you know that I edited part of your post to suit our community guidelines. If you have any questions about this at all please don't hesitate to ask!