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Teen sexuality

Teen sexuality

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Spaceace2019

Teen sexuality

I'm father to a son who is 14 and has had a girlfriend for 18 months. She's 15. They are very affectionate when permitted to be. He is very impulsive having dealt with some issues while depression, and he loves her dearly. She is very much looking to him for affection and attention, she craves it. He only wants to make her happy. There have also been some issues with suicidal threats at times, but those are mostly in reaction to the parents setting boundaries or not getting what they want.

I'm struggling with how physical we should allow them to be. They push the envelope at home with us almost constantly, and I feel like if we don't let them express themselves somehow they're going to explode once they get a minute alone. We monitor his texts and last night there was talk about her wanting a baby now. I can't lock him up. What should I do?
Parent/Carer Community Champion
PapaBill

Re: Teen sexuality

Hi @Spaceace2019 

 


That is a very familiar issue for me.  My 18 yr old son went through something very similar (less the want a baby bit) a few years back.  

 


My son was always touching and holding his girlfriend when they were together and they were like a couple of entwined snakes when on the couch together.

 


I had a very uncomfortable discussion with him over time.  First was talking about sex.. (initially he assured me they were not doing anything) then about contraception (months later).

Luckily he was willing to listen to his old man.  I structured it by stating I respected he probably heard it all before but I was concerned and I wanted to share my concerns.

He took it in the way it was intended.. not to tell him what to do but rather to make sure he aware of what could happen and how even if embarrassed this is an important topic.

 


Your son sounds like he is a little younger than mine (think he was 15) so he probably a little more nieve. 

 


IMHO

The fact she is saying she wants a baby now means you need to be chatting about contraception now!

It is good to share your thoughts and expectations and provide guidance.  That is what parents are for.

You need to stress these are his choices and there are possibly life long consequences. 

Unfortunately there are hundreds of young fathers who naive actions resulted in a situation they never wanted.

It is important to make sure he needs to know he has the right to say NO to sex, he has the right to insist on protection - despite what his girlfriend may say or want.

 


I hope it goes well for you and don't let your discomfort or unwillingness get in the way of the of what is a critical discussion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mod
Jess1-RO

Re: Teen sexuality

Hi @Spaceace2019,

 

Just checking in to see how you are going? Have you had more time to think about how you will approach this situation moving forward?

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