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Teenage brothers constant fighting

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Teenage brothers constant fighting

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Boohughes

Teenage brothers constant fighting

My two teenage boys aged 13 and 16 are constantly fighting. There isn’t a morning that they don’t get up and start screaming at each other. They threatened to punch each other sometimes they do, they run around after each other. They have disgusting language and use horrendous terms to address each other.
They fight over little things like one brother might wear the other’s clothes and this blows up into an enormous fight.
My husband now just yells at them also, and I don’t think this is helping at all. We seem to be in a terrible circle of fighting and yelling, and I’m wondering what we can do because it’s just awful and saddens me. We used to be such a close happy family.
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Chloe-RO

Re: Teenage brothers constant fighting

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Hi there @Boohughes ,

Thank you for sharing what's been happening for you. It sounds like a lot to contend with at home, especially when the constant arguing is between two teenagers - I guess we can say they aren't small children any more who you can separate!

While reading your post, I'm wondering whether you have sat each boy down separately and tried to talk to them about what's going on for them so that they feel such strong anger towards their sibling? While it may be true that sibling rivalry is 'natural' and 'healthy' to some extent, from what you are describing, it sounds like this is getting a little beyond that point. I hear how much it is affecting the entire family. I wonder if it is worth while sharing this ReachOut article with them? This article talks about conflict with family and tips on working through the conflict. 

Do the boys have times when they have their own space? That is, they are not together at home e.g. one has extra curricular activities, or spends time out with friends or a parent? This may give them an opportunity to open up to a trusted person.

ReachOut  have a free 1:1 Parent Coaching course. Many parents and carers find this program very useful as they navigate the ups and downs of raising teenagers.

In all this, please look after yourselves. Keep practising those BIG PARENT breaths and know you are not alone by watching this short video clip of a mother who tries to STAY CALM Smiley Happy

We look forward to hearing from you!

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Chloe-RO

Re: Teenage brothers constant fighting

Good Evening @Boohughes ,

I wanted to follow-up to see how things are going and whether there has been any change since you last posted?