10-26-2018 09:49 AM
I don't have the answers, of course. I guess in your situation I would consider keeping him away from school for a while. At that age he can miss a few weeks without falling too far behind. That might keep him away from the bad influences and maybe let him sort his head out himself. I guess I would try to find out what he wants. That's hard if he doesn't want to talk.
I found the same situation; we would get attention if there was a threat of suicide. It's very frustrating to find it has to get that bad before the system starts to act. We moved to a private psychologist, who is fantastic, but expensive.
Hope you can find the strength to keep going.
10-27-2018 03:40 PM
10-27-2018 08:19 PM
Hi @lizard0812 I can hear that apart from the concern for your son you are really struggling yourself. Do you and you partner have some supports?
I would really recommend calling a helpline such as Mensline (1300 789 978) or Parentline for some emotional support.
Mensline is a free and confidential line, staffed by qualified counsellors 24/7. They could be a great addition for support alongside our forum.
10-27-2018 09:45 PM - edited 10-27-2018 09:46 PM
10-27-2018 11:04 PM
I agree, I didn't feel like there was much support for me during that time. I was totally focussed on getting help for my son, and there was only just enough support for him, too. Looking back I wished I'd been stronger or braver or whatever to make me go and seek help for myself, because in the end I ran out of strength and I couldn't support my boy properly. Luckily this was right at the end of his bad time, so we made it through anyway, but I don't know what would have happened if we still had a long way to go.
Don't think of it as relaxing or doing nice things for yourself. Think of it as preparing to help your boy even better, because that's what it is.
By the way, psychologists didn't really help me either. I needed help with more practical things: getting him to school as much as possible, getting him to appointments, shopping for food and other simple things. Spread the load wherever you can. I don't know about you but I found I was exhausted a lot, but also unable to sleep well, so even simple things became hard work. Nobody can go on for too long like that.
Does your boy like the movies? I found taking my son to the movies was a chance for me to switch off for a couple of hours, knowing he was beside me and safe. No talking means no chance for fights, too
10-28-2018 01:17 PM - last edited on 10-28-2018 01:40 PM by Lan-RO
10-28-2018 01:54 PM
I got to hate hearing the phone ring, my body would tense up just thinking "What now".
Thanks for your sympathy Luckily it is over for us. Just this last month or so, I've been thinking "we made it". He is still on medication, but everything else is just normal teenage behaviour.
You have my sympathy too. I just took it a day at a time, trying to solve the drama for that day. The school were worse than useless in our case, hope yours is better. We were lucky to finally get a great medical team on his side. That took maybe 5 months.
I found writing down my headaches on this site good therapy. The responses were a bonus- just typing them out was worthwhile.
Enjoy the weekend as best you can
10-28-2018 02:11 PM
Hi @lizard0812 I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, it sounds like an extremely difficult time. It's good to hear that you are able to talk to some friends who are able to provide support. I hope the conference next week goes well and that you are able to get some further support and strategies to assist your son. Just a quick note I've edited your post to include the @ symbol in front of username you have mentioned which allows you to tag members in your post and they'll also receive a notification. We're here for you
11-23-2018 07:21 PM
11-23-2018 10:53 PM
Hey @lizard0812, that sounds terribly distressing that you are not able to get the help you need right now. I can tell that you are trying all that you can to get some support. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be expected to navigated this struggle for so many more months. Does the GP have any services they recommend in the meantime? I ask this as they will have the most local knowledge of the services and alternatives available. There are services like Kids Helpline and eheadspace which might be helpful while you are waiting for an appointment. There are also Telehealth services or psychologists that sometimes provide Skype counselling sessions. I am not sure of the logistics or suitability of these services but they may be useful while waiting for face-to-face support. For example, googling 'Skype Psychologists Australia' provides some results which may be of use. There is also the ReachOut Coaching Program that builds up action plans throughout sessions for you and your child. Sending some positive vibes