daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @sunflowermom,

I'm glad to hear this week has been a better week for you!

I think you raise a really great point about recovery for young people and families where there is an experience of mental illness. Recovery is exactly as you said; moment by moment. It's a process of learning and growing through experience.

Recovery happens for a lot of young people, particularly the young people like your daughter who have the incredible support you give her Many young people who seek support and learn how to manage their well being can go on to live meaningful and contributing lives. I hold a lot of hope for you and your daughter, and it sounds like she has been making lots of great progress So glad to hear you are feeling that hope too 

[sunflowermom]

Thank you @Jess1-RO Your kind words and support are so appreciated

[taokat]

Ditto to all @Jess1-RO said! 

[sunflowermom]

We are having a rough go lately.  My daughter has become really depressed again.  She admits she has nothing to be depressed about and I try to explain that's not always how depression works.  Sometimes it just happens.  We are seeing her Psychiatrist this week where maybe her meds will be adjusted (again.....ughhh)   I am still hopeful it will help.  It hurts my heart to see my daughter struggling daily.

The good news is she is not self harming or using pot to mask her emotions-  so its out there without coverups or band aids and its raw.

Today I took the day off work and I am getting a massage and then taking both my daughters to lunch and school shopping at the mall.  I am really hopeful for an enjoyable afternoon and I hope it brings my daughter some joy too.

[Taylor-RO]

Hey @sunflowermom, sorry to hear that things are not going smoothly at the moment. I can hear how much compassion you have for your daughter and you are always so proud in acknowledging her achievements. It is only natural for this then to hurt when you see her struggling. It is great that you are seeking more support for your daughter and for yourself as well! I hope the joy rubs off too. Keep us updated 

[taokat]

I’m so sorry to hear @sunflowermom. You’re so right, depression doesn’t need a reason, and it can be frustrating because sometimes the best you can do is ride it out. It struck me though how wonderful it is that your daughter is able to recognise her emotions, whether there is a cause for them or whether they’re purely her depression. Even better she is facing those unpleasant feelings instead of masking them. That is massive and your continuing love and support is enabling her to explore them with you. 

It is heartbreaking seeing our kids struggling and riding this roller coaster with them. I hope you enjoyed your massage, you so deserve it! 

How did your afternoon go with the girls? 

[sunflowermom]

Thank you @taokat and @Taylor-RO

We had a really nice shopping day.  The girls were happy to get some nice things to start school with.  We had a couple more tense moments but I could see compromise both daughters were making for each other.  Like being patient while one shopped in a specific store that the other was not interested in.  It was big growth on both their parts.

By lunch my daughter was getting a little tense- I think the noise of the restaurant and getting tired.  So I took my cue from that and we left the mall.  We have learned not to push it.  However I do want to continue more social situations and outings to prepare for going back to school.

It was a nice day and we don't take those for granted.

My massage was incredible too- I might be getting better at this self care thing ;P

[taokat]

That must be so lovely seeing the girls making compromises for each other @sunflowermom. They are certainly days to cherish and appreciate 😊

It’s so fantastic you’re following cues and diverting those triggers. My daughter’s the same - noise and becoming tired leads to over-stimulation and meltdowns. Similarly my daughter needs gradual extended exposure to social situations to build up her resilience and tolerance. 

You so deserved that massage so I glad you loved it. The more you practice self care the better you get at it I reckon, so book in another massage! 

[sunflowermom]

Hello @taokat

Its been a rough road!  This weekend we discovered my daughter had been sneaking an older teen-age boy into her room 2-3 nights per week in the middle of the night almost all summer.  We had suspected something going on since her screen was off her window several times.  So my husband put up an alarm.  She came clean pretty quickly.  I am still so shaken....and feeling foolish.  I sat and talked with her a couple hours that night.....I understand how lonely she feels and this helps some kind of void.  Its heart breaking the extent she puts herself through for some kind of perceived love and attention from a boy.  ( not even a boyfriend, I have never met this kid) 

So fast forward to today....she has lost her phone privileges which is the only thing that is truly a punishment to her.  She starts back to school today ( first time in a year)   I am nervous not having that constant connection with her to check in.  I will be holding my breath all morning!  AT least she has a modified schedule where she only attends until 12:30...but I'm still anxious and I know she will be too.  Its hard not to cave in and give her back her phone but I guess part of loving her is holding to those consequences.

Fingers crossed......

[Breez-RO]

Wow @sunflowermom I can definitely imagine how incredibly confronting that must feel, to realise a young man has been in your house without you being aware for such a long period of time. I think it is really incredible you sat down with her in a bid to understand why she felt the need to keep this from you. The phone thing no doubt is quite massive for any teenager in this day and age, how long is she without it? How are you feeling about your relationship with her, are you receiving support from your Husband as well do you guys get much time to debrief together?