Hi @Lillipilli, thanks for posting. Just clarifying - you love the antidepressants? Have they been working well for your Daughter? In regards to the tickling, were you two playing etc? Keen to hear more about your situation with your Daughter and the sort of support you need :)  ... View more

Hey @Mum100 I would recommend telling your Son about Kids Helpline Web Chat which he can access here whenever he needs, or he can phone them on 1800 55 1800. This organisation has a tonne of info and strategies on chronic bullying. This is really painful and disheartening and no doubt as a parent one can feel very powerless. It will be an intense lesson in resilience for him and I just want to commend you in providing him with a supportive safe space to come home to. I am keen to get other member's view on this, @sunflowermom @Orbit64 @Schooner - have you had any experience managing bullies? ... View more

Hey there @Kyb50 no doubt language barriers can be really tricky, but her tribe will come eventually. It is very hard for young ones as they grow finding other friends who are like minded and connected. I think the girl guides is a really great start, how often has she gone so far? Did the counsellor have any input or views around this?   I am going to tag some other parents to provide their support and input. @Schooner @compassion @sunflowermom @taokat    ... View more

Hey there @natscrafts. I am so sorry to hear about what your son is experiencing, this must be incredibly painful for you to hear no doubt. It sounds like your son is beyond his years, and I do not doubt that once he is out exploring the world, immersing himself in his interests, he will find other kindred spirits. The therapist is spot on, he definitely needs professional support.   What are the odds of you and your Husband sitting down together to speak with him? Is this possible? There's a couple of options, of course he definitely will benefit from a therapist, but there's also the possibility of family therapy if he feels more comfortable. I would recommend chatting to Kids Helpline too (they work with up to 25 year olds), you can speak to them as a parent who is in need of strategies and support. I will tag some of our community for their input as they have definitely walked in your shoes   @sunflowermom @taokat @Orbit64  ... View more

Hey there @Just-WantToHelp no doubt this is very traumatic and taxing on yourself emotionally as well as your partner. Is the eldest Daughter receiving support for the suicide attempt in the form of counselling etc? Has your partner considered therapy as well? I would recommend also giving SCBS a phone call, they're really good at supporting loved ones who need further strategies around helping families manage suicidal ideation and attempts. There's also Kids Helpline who can be a great resource for parents and partners. We're also here to listen I will tag some members for you too.   What do you do for yourself in the way of self care?   @sunflowermom @taokat @Orbit64 ... View more

Hey @Moloko it's definitely a hard one no doubt. Of course at that age there is a surge of hormones which certainly can result in feeling depressed. I think you're right too there's a bit of a misconception especially regarding young people that there is some kind of 'quick fix'. Sounds like a pretty good Doctor to me, referring onto a counsellor is a really good first base. Has she mentioned anything that may be causing her change in emotional health? I will tag some parents for you too :)    @sunflowermom @Orbit64 @Schooner ... View more

Hey @Parenting911 that is not okay I am so sorry he is doing this to you & your kids. Do you have a family counsellor or some kind of face to face support? Do your kids have a strong relationship with you and do you feel comfortable unpacking it with them? He's digging himself a hole as the kids will just find this behaviour draining and confusing, if anything it could create distance between himself and them so this is very unfortunate. I am going to tag some of our other members for some input as well   @sunflowermom  @taokat @Orbit64 ... View more

Also just checking in @Desperate0mum is your Daughter safe tonight? Do you need extra support for her at the moment? SCBS are a really good service if she's ever suicidal, as well as for yourself in supporting her - you can phone them at anytime if you need strategies, their number is 1300 659 467 and their webchat is here.  ... View more

Hi @Desperate0mum welcome to the forums I am so sorry to hear about this painful experience with your girl. It's not uncommon for the meds to have no effect, in fact some actually have quite negative side effects; everyone reacts differently to medication - I would definitely recommend tracking her symptoms and if needs be go back to the GP for a chat. In regards to the Psychologist, does she have good rapport with the Psych? Do they have a congruent professional relationship? The health sector has a huge range of practitioner's all with different backgrounds, counsellors, psychologist's, psychiatrist's, social workers etc - it's not a one size fits all and there are many options, it could be good to explore whether or not she is finding her practitioner helpful. Your own self-care is important through all of this, do you have any supports close to you, or any time to yourself to unwind etc? I am going to tag other members for their input you're not alone.   @Orbit64 @Schooner @sunflowermom @taokat @Dakotah ... View more

Hey there @Healthyhomelife sending a lot of love and compassion for this situation it must be very hard coming into an environment where the girls have been parented a certain way for so long and you find yourself with a lot of extra work to do in addition to having your working from home hours disrupted. It sounds like you're both the full time parents too so no doubt you're due for a  break. Any chance of you and the BF having a date night and having a really solid discussion around expectations? I think the key thing is that you present your expectations with consistency, no doubt the girls will still push back a bit - which is hard, but it's an adjustment phase, and these asks are not huge (tidying up etc), especially with positive reinforcement. It is great you're concerned about one of the girl's mental health, does she have a school counsellor? There's also Kids Helpline who work with people up to 25, they're really good and totally confidential (she can even webchat), you're right it's not good for her health the minimal eating. I am going to tag a few other members for their input   @sunflowermom @taokat @Schooner @Dakotah @Orbit64 ... View more

Hey there @Inaspot2day, ReachOut parents is intended for use by parents of 12-18 year old Australians however there are other online communities that could be incredibly useful to you The BeyondBlue forums have a really large and helpful community, Sane Australia also have a forum here. Let us know how you get on! ... View more

Hi @Ml_g9 firstly I am sending you so much love during this incredibly painful experience, it is very evident you have a connected and loving relationship with your boy. It must be nerve wracking given how little his Father is involved, to truly know whether he will be emotionally safe. Have you spoken to his Father on the phone? You've mentioned your Son is up against some struggles outside of the home, have there been any major changes at home, perhaps with his younger brothers or anything else? I would definitely recommend using our service, as well as reaching out to your supports. Your own self-care is important right now, would you consider seeing a counsellor or having a chat with the crew at Parentline (state numbers are the bottom of this page)? They have a lot of experience in supporting parents. Please know you're not alone, many in this community are supporting one another through the challenges that surround raising young ones. I am going to tag some of our community to provide their insight too @taokat @sunflowermom @Schooner @lizard0812   ... View more

Hey @lizard0812, of course this is a very frustrating and no doubt painful situation I send a lot of love your way in dealing with this. Sounds like he's really got his shoulder turned on the family unit, and he's very intent on pushing boundaries and is probably quite unaware how much pain he is causing in the process. Can I ask to clarify, were you advised by the parents to let him cool off? Or someone else?   Please remember it's completely up to you whether or not you want to go and engage with him. He is thirteen, in Australia this would class him still as a child, but I do understand it can be difficult to balance ourselves in the middle of the seasaw and not tip too far to one side upsetting the situation further. What do you want to do right now? What's your gut saying?   @sunflowermom @taokat @Schooner ... View more

@taokat @sunflowermom @Orbit64 ... View more

Hey there @Pepper1201 thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for what you and your Daughter are experiencing, especially regarding the lack of support from the school. No doubt this is incredibly dis-empowering and painful for you as a parent. It sounds like you are really connected to your Daughter and your priority is making sure she feels safe and heard. I would definitely recommend in addition to using this space, also reaching out to the DV Connect Sexual Assault Helpline. There are services that can provide advocacy and support if you would like to further escalate this issue, and potentially get a more proactive response from the school. I believe the service is open until 11:30pm and should have a range of resources local to you to help you deal with the school, and to support your Daughter.   Would you consider attending counselling with your Daughter? Given she has to see this pupil regularly, she may need a safe space ongoing for a little bit whilst she recovers, the lack of sleep is understandable only a few months on. It could also be good for you to feel supported ongoing, this community is a really great space for that. I will tag a few of the other members too for their input and insight   ... View more

Hey @RHI22 I am sorry to hear your Daughter is struggling to develop close relationships with her friends. Has she opened up to you about what's been going on? Do you have any idea why, is she shy or new to the school or similar? We're here to listen.  ... View more

What a beautiful post @provincetown ... View more

@lizard0812 it is incredibly hard, despite logically knowing about the hormones and brain development it does not stop the behaviour from hurting. The balance of boundaries and love when dealing with disrespectful behaviour is no easy feat. As with @Moggy3kids it will most definitely swing back round eventually. The imperative thing is your own self-care, your own safe space away from the kids. Even if it's just fifteen minutes with a book to start out.   I have found yoga really beneficial, is there anything you enjoy that focuses on mind and body etc? ... View more

Hey @Beno50 absolutely, sometimes we just want to feel less alone. You absolutely are not alone, and this is a great online community with tonnes of support. I am going to tag some other members so they can read over this and provide their own insight How do you feel about the GP appointment?   @taokat @sunflowermom @Happy @Schooner @Dakotah ... View more

I hear you @lizard0812, it's difficult he is denying smoking. I have a brother the same age, they're definitely evolving a lot quicker this generation. Earlier risk taking and to be honest, a high level of intelligence. My brother is interested in things that would not have even crossed my mind at thirteen, I guess the internet is at their fingertips. Does your Daughter seem affected at all so far or is she traveling alright? ... View more

Hey @pru696 welcome to the forums. How old is your step-daughter currently? It can be a really hard transition for parents, but it's so positive to hear you want to figure out how to support her in the journey. Pronouns are really important throughout the whole process for the young person, and @taokat mentioned some wonderful resources. There's also parents of gender diverse children [click here], which can provide you with some tailored support.   Please let us know how your step-daughter and Fiance are getting on. ... View more

Hey @lizard0812 this is very painful, you must be at your emotional threshold so please know we are all here to listen and support. It's really positive that a friend's parent did phone you, it must be comforting to know other parent's are tuned in; also positive that the ex is stepping up. Have you been able to speak to him about the smoking, about his Grandfather and the realities around this? I am going to tag some members, it's important you know you're not alone. I myself was an intensely turbulent adolescent, a lot of this behaviour is familiar to me, the developing brain and hormones definitely do not help the case.   @taokat @pru696 @Dakotah @sunflowermom what are your thoughts? ... View more

I really admire your persistence, and the passion and love you hold for your young one. Not all parents are as engaged as you, it's beautiful to see. @Dakotah ... View more

Hey @Dakotah I hear you so there's maybe some genetic elements to her mental health? Has the sullen behaviour come out of nowhere, or have you always noticed a tendency to be down? No drama re: edit :)  ... View more

Hey @Mumsa welcome and your concerns sound valid, have you spoken to her at all regarding why she is so immersed her school work? Keen to hear a bit more about this. ... View more

Hey there @Dakotah wow this sounds really challenging. Of course you're right the hormonal changes will be affecting her moods no doubt, this is a very vulnerable time for a young person. So good that you're committed to using the right language and finding resources to support her, well done on this. Our community has some great insight into helping adolescent's with self harm I am sure you'll find this space of great benefit. Did she disclose anything to you regarding self-harm, something that has happened or an underlying trigger? **I did need to edit the method of self-harm out due to our community guidelines :)  ... View more

Hey there @Troubled75 absolutely, totally can understand that affliction must be really challenging. There's a free service we offer called ReachOut parents coaching [click here], which basically provides support to parents who are parenting challenging adolescents or those working through mental health symptoms. I think the key thing is that you do have awareness around where his problem stems from, the boundaries must really get exhausting - balancing love and parameters, you're right it's important he doesn't bully anyone in the family and understands the resulting effect this behaviour can have.   Have the Psych's/Doc's diagnosed him with anything, he's dealing with very complex emotions by the sound of it. Or at this stage do they believe it to be a result of the divorce?   Do you have support in your life around this as well? Anyone who can provide you a safe space to talk it out? ... View more

Hey there @Troubled75 it is definitely challenging at times! I just edited a segment of your post due to our community guidelines, you can read them here :)  ... View more

Hey there @Troubled75, thanks so much for posting, this definitely sounds like an emotionally exhausting situation. We have a bunch of incredible parents on this forum who have experience with issues similar to this so I think you will benefit from peer support here. He is still very young, and whilst it probably feels incredibly taxing he's entering into a very vulnerable space from now until he's about 26 as his brain continues to develop and his testosterone peaks and troughs. In terms of the psychologist's, what specifically do you feel is not working? Keen to hear more on this, and where you feel the practitioner's aren't totally effective. We're here to listen   Will tag some members for you too @taokat @sunflowermom @Schooner @Orbit64 ... View more

Hey there @SarahJane welcome to the forums! So sorry to hear about your Daughter's symptoms and the strain of her Father passing three years ago. This community is most definitely here to support and listen to you. BPD is a really complex one, but I cannot commend you enough for the love and compassione which shines through this post in regards to your girl. Whilst BPD is one of the more challenging presentations, all of the wonderful attributes of your Daughter are not uncommon in this cluster - they tend to be especially tuned into others and highly intelligent. There's a great Organisation called SPECTRUM I would recommend you check out, they're a leading group in Victoria on BPD strategies. I did edit some of your post (pretty minor) just due to our community guidelines, you can read them here :) We also have a free service ReachOut Parents Coaching which you can check out here - and may be eligible for. It's another layer of support for parenting teens with mental health challenges.   ... View more